*breathe breathe breathe*
So---it's Friday May 21st, 2010 So much happened and so fast since I last updated.
It's all really over whelming and hard to comprehend, especially the state I've been in it's hard to strip through all that's happened.
Last I updated it was Wednesday May 19th around 5am and I was having issues sleeping, thinking things were "kind of" looking up! lol It's so amazing how quickly things can change causing your whole world to just spin out of control!
Well Tuesday and Wednesday morning I was looking a lot better. Labs weren't really better but they also were not worse. So in reality it looked like I'd just be getting comfy for a couple days while they made sure that didn't change.
Around mid Wednesday I started to feel some pains in my stomach, a slight headache all day and just not....good. =p Great description I know but it's all I got! lol They had already been drawing blood frequently for testing and after I let them know I wasn't feeling so great they decided to draw some early. Over the next several hours the normal procedures were run and I was monitored on all the same stuff as the past couple days. My blood results came back, again, not normal. They still decided to wait a bit monitor me while my Doctor talked with a specialist about my latest results and what would be a good step to take.
It was when I see my doctor walk in the room after hours in his normal clothes that I knew it wasn't going to be another "easy" night.
Dr. H is awesome and I trust his opinion and take what he says to heart. He of course cracked a joke about everyone being gone. :) My mom had just left 20 min prior to head home and get some rest. Austin was just in the other room. Dr. H grabbed my chart as we waited for Austin so we all 3 could talk about the options and what's going on.
We all knew that the big concern was the possibility of Pre-Explampsia which could be causing the high BP and all that good stuff. Dr. H mentioned that the steroid shots they had given me could have masked or even been a temporary bandaid for symptoms of Pre-E. Which in turn is why after the 2nd shot and some time it was starting to show it's ugly face once again.
He let us know there were certain things in the results that have doubled in the wrong direction making him and the specialist concerned for my safety. SO he put it down pretty simple for us, we had 2 options.
1) We could try and deliver naturally by being induced. The concern for this was that after 3 days of contracting my cervix still hadn't changed meaning that with inducing the labor I could be looking at about 12-18 hrs of labor. Which in turn would give the chance for my platelets to get worse and BP to go up even more. During that point it may cause me to bleed or even seizure during the labor. Another concern was with 1 placenta, once baby A is born it could turn baby B to a improper birth position which would cause us to go through a vaginal/C-section birth.
Basically the longer we waited the more danger it was to me and option 1 had a good wait period.
2) We have a C-section birth, now. Still risk for bleeding and of course normal risks along with C births.
At this point there was too much going on for me to really properly think straight. I wasn't feeling well thanks to whatever my body was doing! Just yesterday I thought I was doing fine and would be going home to cook these twinkers more. I'm nervous because EVERYTHING I wanted to happen has been basically thrown out the window. The babies were coming early, the birth plan I wanted wasn't a safe one, possible but not the safest route to take and everyone around could see that.
Dr. H gave Austin and I some time to talk and think about what we wanted. He also let me know I could call my mom and he would speak with her cause they work in the same building and it may help to get some outside voice on the situation.
To Austin's amusement my only concern was that he'd still love me and find me attractive if we took option 2. =P I mean come on girls you know you feel the same. You had a specific body before you were pregnant, you wanted that body back after the birth of your child (or children). So getting chopped up isn't exactly at the top of your list when you think of things your hubbs finds attractive about you.
He laughed and let me know he's concerned about my safety and at this point he sees this as our option.
I proceeded to call my mom, slowly beginning to become more and more aware of what was about to happen. I explained what I could but Dr. H saw it was hard for me to get the words out and took over. As he explained the situation to her one of our many amazing nurses started to explain what will happen in the next few hours. I was shaking practically crying, wanting to jump out the window an run. I wasn't prepared for this! I should have had more time to make things right but I didn't.
After about 20 minutes it was decided. My parents and in-laws were on their way to the hospital and I was bending over a pillow trying to relax as a epidural was being put down my back.
It was about to happen....we were about to be parents, I was about to be cut open and have these 2 angels be removed early in hopes of keeping me healthy.
Everything moved quickly after that. Within 30 minutes we were ready to go to the OR. Austin was in his fancy get up---
May 19th, 2010 11:05 pm---
"OK, Heather you're going to feel pressure", "K"......silence, then I could hear her. Short breaths followed by gurgled cries. It was Oakley Elizabeth, our baby A, crying as they carried her to be warmed and cleaned. I broke into tears as I watched Austin run around with our Flip camera to catch her in the other room.
I was alone laying there listening to her tears and listening to the surrounding strangers welcome her to the world. We had talked about what Austin would do when they were born, if he would stay or he would follow them to ensure they were OK. We both felt it best he stayed close to them and I would be fine to finish up.
11:06 pm---
"OK, here we go, more pressure." Instantly you could hear our little Kenzington Lee ripping up a storm with her cries. I was in awe and shock. I could hear the little things that were kicking and hiccuping inside me for the last 7 months! Just like Oakley, Kenzington was rushed to the next room to be stimulated and cleaned.
It was nearly over--or I thought. While laying there, listening, crying, I started to feel sleepy and notice a rush from the people around me. Things weren't normal. Doctors were barking orders, nurses flying by the seat of their pants, Austin returned checking if I was ok trying to talk to me make sure I was still with him. I was, but I was tired and thirsty. A nurse came by to assure me it would be just a little longer not to worry.
I wasn't worried--they were here! How could I worry? The people working over me knew what they were doing and were doing what they could to make things right. That's all that mattered. I never really understood what was wrong until I heard a doctor order for some blood. Then I knew, that their worries had come true and I was bleeding from my current condition.
The rest was a blur, a giant blur of shaking, shivering, muttering and flashing faces. I didn't get to see or hold my baby girls right away. I expected that. I was in no shape to do so. It was late by the time I recognized the faces around me in my room. My amazing husband with his loving supportive parents and my parents not far from my side finding things they could do to help.
During my recovery it was explained that I had lost blood. More than they thought I would. Causes being why they did not want to wait for this birth any longer. They ordered blood and I was quickly put on a drip. My vitals were still not amazing which had them keep me longer upstairs to stabilize before taking me to Mother Baby floor below.
The highlight of my groggy night was when they said I was being moved from Labor and Delivery floor to Mother baby and I was able to see my girls for the first time--
It was late, nearly 4am. I was in no shape to speak let alone be awake! I just could not wait to see our little ones and tried my hardest to keep my eyes open.
I was able to touch Oakley and even hear her cry a little as I stroked her little foot as she lay there in bed in shock at the world around her. Kenzington was out like a light. Worn out from all the commotion that had happened. Before I could comprehend what happened I had to leave. It was my turn to recover...
After seeing them that night I was unable to see them until I was given the clear to leave the bed. My vitals for the next couple days were unstable and worrisome. They had me on a constant drip of magnesium to stop possibilities of a seizure.
Now for anyone who doesn't know what this drug is---call yourself lucky. You are basically "sick", all the time, while on it. I couldn't see straight or even pull a full complete sentence out of my butt if I wanted to! lol
It was hard having to rely completely on everyone around me for help and support to do anything. I couldn't even see my own children. It was pictures and stories of how they were that kept me happy and persistent in getting past all this so I could see my babies. There were soo many variables keeping me from them that were out of my control!
It wasn't till today May 21st in the early morning was I given a good enough bill of health to be removed from my machines! They waited to remove the catheter till I had a good night sleep off the machines. Once that was off my hands I instantly wanted to see my girls.
=) I did. I had been told both had been on and off CPAP machines to help with breathing which was normal for 32 weekers. In fact our little one Kenzington was breathing on her own the day before!
Today she was put on a respirator to help her keep her lungs open they think because she was being such a trooper the day before and wore herself out. Other than that they both are beautiful amazing and strong little babies for being so small!
They are slowly getting some of their mums milk and from what the nurses tell me is Oakley (like she was in my belly) is a feisty little one that likes to wiggle her way out of things. They have their daddy's hair which has made me happy! They seem to have their moms long fingers I was so lucky to touch and hold today. One of the nurses even put a cute little bow on Kenzlee's little head.
We aren't able to hold them yet and wont until they have the tubes in their belly buttons removed. Hopefully that is soon. It's going to be a long road to recovery for all of us but we can do it! They have been more than strong little fighters--heck if you ask me they showed me up! I was the one stuck in bed with issues long before them!
LONG LONG story with many details left untold but to sum it up for you---Our girls were born way before we could even have thought, I was put into a situation that scared many of us and in the end we all are going to be growing stronger together with support from some of the most amazing people in the world! Family and Friends! Not to mention the out of this world help and support I have received from the nurses here at this hospital! I couldn't have been more blessed to be put under the care of these people!
I'll be sure to keep an update of our daily goals/milestones! Pray for a quick recovery and that our girls will be home in our arms soon!
Till then, this newly started family is kickin' it hospital style in the U.C.
<3
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