Monday, May 31, 2010

I love good news!

Just got a call from the doctor this morning.  She even seemed super excited to tell me!  Which made it that much more fun to listen to, hehe.

Oakley is now off her c-pap as well!  Both of them are doing great on their respiratory while just on the nasal cannula.  They both will be coming off of their PICC lines tomorrow,  which means in the next few days we can possibly start to work on a little breastfeeding.  If they keep doing as well as they are now with their breathing they will be taken off their caffeine and start taking other supplements like iron and things.  A few less wires and tubes is always a plus!  They both are gaining weight daily which in turn they  get fed larger amounts based on their weight.

As the Dr said we are on to the next stage!  I cannot wait to see them tonight take some pictures without those silly masks on their faces.  =D

Bath Time!

Sundays are always relaxing.  It's almost like it's wired into your brain that you need to sleep in on Sundays and nap when ever you get  a chance.  =)  Oakley and Kenzington even have it wired into their head to be super calm on Sundays! hehe.

We spent the first part of the day at my Parents having a nice little BBQ with burgers, hot dogs, and some of my moms home made potato salad!  Couldn't go wrong there!  It was, lets just say, NOM NOM NOM!

After we had stuffed our faces and vegged for a couple hours on the couch we headed up to the hospital to see the girls.  It was about 7 o'clock which is one of their feeding times.  I was expecting to be able to do some Kangaroo care with them again today but I got something cooler!  We got to give them a bath!  Well, closest thing to a bath they could get right now with all the wires and such, so more like a sponge bath but still.

I was a little worried we'd up set them and get a couple screaming babies on the floor to be honest.  They can already hit those high notes and I didn't want to hear any of that right now.

We had to wait till their feedings were done and they had some time to digest so we relaxed by their bed sides for about an hour, listening to Kenzington make some cooing noises while she slept.  She was dreaming about something, I don't know what?!  The day they took her out of me maybe?  But it was cute to be able to hear her make noises since she didn't have that noisy c-pap covering up everything.

Then came time for BATH TIME! =D  We did Kenzington first since she ate the fastest and it was mostly going to be me cleaning her up.

It was nerve racking to say the least.  Picking her up and moving her around into positions I'm sure she didn't appreciate.  She was great though never crying and in fact she woke up pretty quickly after we started and she tried her hardest to focus on what was happen, then she tried her hardest to go back to sleep, hehe.  Near the end she fussed a bit but we stuck that pacifier in her mouth and she soon was out like a light.

Next was Oakley.  She wasn't going to get her hair washed since she still had the c-pap on but she was getting everything else.  Austin took over mostly for this one.  He seemed almost more nervous than me it was cute seeing his concerned father come out wanting to make sure he did everything right, even though he just saw me do everything. :)

Oakley fought her hardest to stay asleep the whole time, still not crying.  She finally gave up near the end and was  wide eyed looking us over with a little puckered bottom lip. Ha ha, couldn't help but laugh a little even though you could tell she was a bit upset at us.

It was great being able to handle them so much and care for them like that.  I would have to say the best part for me was when we would have to clean their bottoms and they would stick those little chicken legs out  into the air as if to say, "What the heck are you doing to me!"  Their little feet and legs have always been so cute to me so I laughed a lot when they did that.

Both were sound asleep shortly after and it was soon to be 10 a'clock before long and we needed to head home.  There were no major changes to the girls settings or anything so from what we were told it was a smooth sailing day and we know the night would be the same.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Calm Weekends

It seems like the weekends are so calm compared to the weekdays.  It's almost unsettling expect for the fact that everything that happens during the weekends is usually good things! :)

We slept in a bit today which was nice getting some solid sleep hours for myself.  My parents were great enough to take us out to breakfast at the totally awesome IHOP! :p  It was great just sitting there and chatting.

After which we strolled over to the hospital with the parents so they could see their grand  babies.  We made sure we made it a little before 1pm so we could be there for the girls feedings and do some Kangaroo Care with them while they ate.

It was so great to see that they had taken Kenzington off her C-PAP and she is now on a nasal cannula.  We were a little worried they wouldn't try her off the C-pap due to how fast she was breathing last night but the nurse said she seems to like the nasal much more cause she has been calm all morning.  Austin held her today and she even stayed calm and steady while we moved her which was an even better sign.  So we are hoping that it stays that way and she doesn't have to be put back on that face squisher again!  If she does it's OK but of course we rather not.

Austin was told not to shave his chest which seemed to amuse Kenzlee, from what he said she liked eating it!  Yum....I'll have to have a talk with that silly girl. Hehe.

Oakley is still on the C-PAP though but they did take her down a lvl and again the nurse said she has been very stable and calm all morning as well. :)  She said it's been getting around that these two are feisty little ones so she was surprised to see them so calm today.

Before I held Oakely I changed her diaper, oh boy did that stink! :) Since they upped their feedings she's been fillin' her diaper pretty good. Nice and messy, haha.  Austin had to do the same with Kenzington apparently hers went up her belly, lucky him.

Once she was all clean I got to hold her, she fussed a tad bit before she was put to my chest but once there she calmed and took her binki almost instantly.  I tried to move it out of her mouth a few times when it seemed like she didn't want it anymore and she kept a good grip on it making the cutest little sucking noises.

 Hopefully after a few days of Oakley being at lvl 6 on the C-pap she will be able to take that step onto the nasal again.  From what we have seen and hear their feedings are going smoothly, they haven't rejected any milk lately. In fact Oakley now weighs almost 4lbs and Kenzington is just a little ahead of her sister.  :) 

So not a whole lot to report this weekend so far but I definitely think that's a good thing.  Just keeping a positive outlook on things and hoping for some more great steps forward in the coming weeks.



So the last few days leaving the hospital were really tough.  I mean "I'll dig my nails into the wood" tough. lol  The little ones were doing a good job at making me feel like I shouldn't leave even though I knew them getting their rest is more important.

Luckily last night it wasn't as bad.  Last night we were able to do our first "kangaroo care" with the girls.  For anyone that doesn't know what this is, it's when you hold your preemie skin to skin helping them learn to regulate their temperature, their vitals, even can help them be ready for breast feeding later on.  

We had gone to a class prior to seeing them, about signals and important things to know and do for your child while they are in the NICU to help them graduate to leaving and coming home.  One thing we learned was that while doing skin to skin with your baby (moms)  if they baby is exposed to a type of germ or something within 24 hours your body will produce the anti body in your breast milk.  That was pretty amazing to hear how in tune a mother is to her child's needs while breast feeding.

We learned a lot about where they need to be before we can take them home.  In reality they have a ways to go.  Which is kind of frustrating but they are making small steps towards that goal and are where they need to be right now.

I tell you what though it was one of the best feelings being able to have them so close to us.  You could feel when they would stress or calm.  It was easy to tell if they were breathing too hard or trying to relax themselves.  One thing Austin mentioned being so amazing was that he knew he was helping them control their body temperature and he was the one providing the heat for his baby.

He was being such a good dad and was so concerned about holding Oakley the right way to make her best comfortable.  After an hour of holding he couldn't stop saying "that was just so cool".  I couldn't agree more. :)  

The nurses are going to try to keep track of when we can make it in so they will hold off on cares for the girls till we get there, which will be during one of the hours they are getting fed.  That way we can work on establishing more of a connection with the twins and help them with taking steps towards breastfeeding and all that good stuff. 

Both Oakley and Kenzington are still currently on their C-PAP machines.  The doctor had mentioned they wanted to take yesterday to let them relax without any major changes before possibly trying to take their settings down or even try with Kenzington off of hers.  It seems like the major big hurdle they need to make is getting their breathing down.  They both have actually started gaining back more weight so we are on the right track there!

So lots more praying and patience!  I can't wait to see them again today.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Stress and happiness

What a mixture!

The girls are a week old today.  It feels like it's been a complete roller coaster and we have just begun.

Oakley was doing so well the last couple days they had her off of CPAP and only on a nasal cannula.  Early this morning I got a call from the doctor at the usual time 10am and she mentioned that they had to turn Oakley's cannula up a bit and that I shouldn't be too surprised or frustrated if she is put back on the CPAP.  She also said they will start to feed her again today since they've noticed her stomach has cleared up a bit.  Kenzington is also doing better with her feedings and has had her CPAP turned down to a 6.

Well sure enough we go in to see the girls today and Oakley was back on her CPAP machine.  =( I know it's a normal 2 steps forward 1 step back kind of thing and it's better to have her on the CPAP than to have her back on the ventilator .  It is just really hard to watch those step backs happen.

It was time to change their diapers and I decided I would change Kenzingtons.  I could tell she was fussy from the moment we walked in and she was ready to let everyone know how unhappy she was.  After changing her she cried for almost 15 minutes straight, raising her heart rate super high making me and dad all stressed out having to sit back being unable to do anything!  I couldn't handle it in all honesty, I should be able to pick up my child when they are distressed like that and help them calm down.  All I could do was sit there and watch and try to give her her binki and hope she calmed down soon.

It also didn't help that we had a new nurse tonight that I've never met who I swear acted like she was either out of it or didn't have a clue as to what was going on!  Every nurse we've had so far has been so wonderful and every time we are in you can just tell they love watching over our girls and are buzzing around like busy bees to make sure they are comfortable.  It's almost like the girls cries were warning me they didn't like this woman!

Not too long after Kenzington was crying her sister kicked in. So Austin and I split duties.  Eventually Kenzington fell asleep probably due to exhaustion from the crying.
Luckily Oakley calmed after being fed some milk and was given her binki.  In fact she became wide eyed and bushy tailed after that.  We had never seen her so awake since she's been born, it's been her sister who's always awake.  She seemed to be able to focus so well on our faces we sat there laughing as one of us would move our heads and she would try to follow with her eyes then get her vision caught on the tubes in front of her face and go cross eyed like her eyes crashed in the middle of her nose! It was adorable.

She recognized our voices though, especially her dads.  Any time he spoke she would try to find him.  I couldn't help but stare in awe at how beautiful she was.

Oakley soon too fell asleep and I used this time to go take care of mommy business while Austin stayed behind to watch them.  When I got back the nurse said I could hold Kenzington if I wanted.  Of course I did, I hadn't been able to hold her yet and I couldn't wait.  She slept through the moving process of all the tubes and gadgets to get to my arms.

We sat there for probably only 15 minutes but it was some of the best minutes I've ever lived.  She was calm, every so often moving her little eye brows up in her sleep.  I noticed movement under her blanket and saw that she had grasped both of her hands together and was squeezing them together now and then.

Soon it was time for us to go and we had to put Kenzington back.  She didn't like that much at all.  She started to cry again and it took some time to get her to calm down.  Once she did we stepped out to head home.

It was almost as hard as the first night we went home from the hospital.  I was in tears and trying to think of ways to get a ride in the morning to go see them to make sure they made it through the night OK.
I decided I'm just going to have to settle with calling them during one of my early morning pump sessions to see how they are.

Luckily I have the perfect husband who tries his best to let me know it will be alright.  I just can't help but to pray and cross my fingers every night when I go to bed that the next morning will bring something bright to look forward to!

Till then, I just need to breath in and out and keep recovering for myself so that I'm strong for them.

Monday, May 24, 2010


I went into today thinking it was going to be one of the roughest days of my life.  Being so far away from my little angels for the first time, even if it's only a 35 minute drive.  Luckily through most the day I was keeping myself occupied while it lingered in the back of my mind that as soon as Austin got home we could leave and go see the babes.

I got a call in the middle of the day from the practitioner on the NICU floor evaluating the twins.  She let me know that at 3am Oakley was wide awake from the morphine and they had decided to take her off the oscillator and put her on the CPAP and in fact she was doing so well they only had it turned to setting 7 (10 needing the most help).  She said Kenzington is still on the CPAP but needing a little more help than her sister with her setting being a 9.  We were still happy to hear that they both no longer have the tubes in their mouths and are gradually getting better.  She then let me know that around 2pm they would be doing the echos to check to see if the PDA treatment was successful and if they needed to give them their 3rd dose or not.

Today is our 2 yr anniversary and neither of us planned anything.  When it was time for us to leave I mentioned we should grab some food as an "anniversary dinner" before we went to see the girls.  Our place of choice?  Kneaders, conveniently located right across the street from the Hospital! =D

After a nice relaxing eat and a few laughs at how silly we were for making this our Anniversary dinner spot.  We headed over to the hospital.
Once we got up to the NICU floor we were greeted by the nurse who had been with them the night before.  She was thrilled to see us and tell us the news of the twins day.
Instantly she started chirping "Mom gets to hold her girls today!"--My jaw dropped and I was in awe simply replying "Shut up".  Wide eyed and smile from ear to ear I made her repeat her self.
It was true today Austin and I were going to get to hold our girls for the first time.  What an amazing anniversary gift!

Before we could get to snugglin' they needed a diaper change and guess who got to do it! US! :)  Silly when you get all excited to change a baby's diaper right?

Luckily it was just a wet one and nothing too serious.  It was great watching Austin with Kenzington as he proceeded to ask the nurse, "How do I wipe this?  I've only changed boy diapers".  <3

Then came the best part.  Since they were still on CPAPS we were only able to hold the one so I took Oakley and Austin took Kenzington---

Way too cute I started to cry a bit!  He got to witness first hand how wide eyed Kenzlee likes to be she even worked herself up so much she got the hiccups.

She was trying really hard to get that mask off her face while gripping my finger like she couldn't let go and blew some of the biggest bubbles I've seen!

It truly hit me then and there that these were my girls.  I was holding something that will be a part of us for the rest of our lives.  I just couldn't even wait to be able to do this daily in the comforts of our own home.  Watching them grown and learn new things around them.

We each sat there in awe for what didn't seem like long enough until the nurse said it was time to put them back in their beds to rest up for the night.

Another amazing thing that the nurse told us was that after the girls echos today they found that the PDAs had closed!!!! They no longer would need the treatments!  I cannot believe how blessed we were to have such great changes in the right direction.  She also mentioned that their lungs are looking better and they are hoping to make progression off the CPAPS within the next few days.

So tonight is another night away from them and I'm just as nervous as the last even after such improvement.  I have had such great advice from friends and family that I know we are going to make it through this and soon we will be worrying about what outfit to put them in or how many more diapers we need to get from the store. =D

We have been blessed and are loved by so many it brings me to tears!  <3

Lets hope and pray for another amazing night for the girls.  I cannot wait to see them again tomorrow.

Hardest day of my life?

I'm starting to think that things I've been through in my life have been fairly simple up to this point.  I could be acting a little over the top about all this as I'm sure the hormones are not exactly helping the situation.

All I know is that leaving the hospital last night, for the first time in 7 days, was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.  It's pretty strange when you start hoping they find things wrong with you to keep you there.

Before we left Austin and I went and spent and hour or more with our girls.  We had several conversations with the nurse watching them as well as the doctor.  They helped calm me, knowing our little ones were in such good hands.  The girls seemed to have become quite the favorites around there.

Oakley was sound asleep.  Every so often you could see her stretching her little legs out.  They had given her a bit of morphine earlier on so they could put in a PICC line and they didn't want her stressing out.  When we talked to her she would attempt to open an eye, so we left her be so she could rest up for the night.  Tomorrow was going to be a busy day.

Kenzington on the other hand was wide awake!  I'd never seen her so lively and aware of things around her.  Her eyes would try and focus on our faces and then get caught up in the oscillators tubes making her go all googly eyed.  We took pictures which I'll have to try and get off the camera as soon as possible.

In fact she was doing so well while we were there they decided to try and take her off the oscillator and put her back on a CPAP to see how well she would do.  This meant no tubes in her little mouth.  We watched as they removed everything and put the CPAP mask on her.  She got upset and for the 2nd time I was able to hear her cry.  After a minute she calmed down.  Then again as we were getting leave for the night she started up crying again, it made things that much harder for us.  

The nurse gave her a pacifier and she seemed to relax and try to sleep it off.  

Today they planned on giving them their screenings to see if the PDA has closed off after their treatment.  As well they were thinking of trying to take Oakley off the oscillator and putting her back on the CPAP. Crossing our fingers that these all turn out good.

One very amazing thing yesterday was that they were able to meet their Uncle Neal!  He was the best big brother ever and flew out for the day to meet them and spend time with us.  I loved it so much as I'm sure the girls loves seeing him too.  <3

Before bed we said a prayer and I tried hard to hold back the tears that had been coming non stop for some time.  It was hard, but it was nice to be laying in my own bed again so I could start my way to recovery for when our little ones come home.

As for today for us, it's our 2 yr anniversary.  Austin and I had almost forgot through all the ruckus!  We decided our gifts to each other were the girls and we couldn't ask for anything more.  

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Another day another challenge!

It's stressful when you sit and watch things that are completely out of your control.  Not only out of your control but may cause a future issue with your little miracle.

I've been trying very hard to just take everything one day at a time.  Things are going to come up slowly but they will be taken care of.  I suppose it's just very hard to prepare yourself for such small hurdles that seem so huge.

Today we found out that the babies have PDA: Patent Ductus Arteriousus.
Simply put an arterial canal that normally closes a few days after birth has not closed.  This canal when closed allows normal blood flow to the lungs.  When this does not close it can cause liquid build up where it is not needed.  (More info here:

This is something that is common in premi babies and is treatable.  The doctor of course says it's normal enough that worse case they have to close with surgery.  They will be getting 3 treatments of a drug then getting another U/S to check and see if it has closed.  They said it could take one treatment it could take 6.  If after time it doesn't progress it means surgery.  We know that these little ones are strong though and wont need the surgery.  It's just having such "normal" things pop up that seem so huge and frightening.

We could have never prepared for any of this, it's just good to know we have so much support from friends and loved ones to help us get past these little bumps in the road.

On a positive note we had a few visitors today- a friend of ours who is a life saver and brought me some snackies and things that will definitely help me get through the rest of my stay here!  Thank you Lisa!  You are too awesome!  <3

And the little ones finally got to meet their wonderful auntie Hilary!  Who as well brought a wonderful comfort for me-a robe! Now I can walk around and feel more covered rather than like a slob and exposed hehe.  Thanks Hil! Also something we can make molds of their tootsies or hands with when they are better.  I hope to get a copy of their footprints soon cause I tell you what they have HUGE feet! lol No idea where they got that.

We also got some cute little bunny rabbits from my family in Washington!  They are too cute and we hope to put those in with them at some point in their stay if possible.

Oakley was a lot more active today and even opened her little eyes to look at mom and dad while we were up to see them.  =) She seemed very interested in her silly father as she made a pirate face at him.  ;p

Kenzington was as active as last night.  Stretching her little leg anytime you touched her foot.  She has always been good at looking like she's up to something like the wheels are turning in that little brain of hers.

The nurse watching over them today put new pink bows in their hair which made me smile!  It definitely makes the scary tubes and bandages a little less intimidating.

From the sounds of it they may be discharging me here in the next day or so.  I should be relieved after 7 days in a hospital bed but I can't help but be scared how I'm going to handle not being just down the hall from my little ones.

Like I said I guess--one day at a time.


Friday, May 21, 2010

Little Miracles and complications

*breathe breathe breathe*

So---it's Friday May 21st, 2010    So much happened and so fast since I last updated.
It's all really over whelming and hard to comprehend, especially the state I've been in it's hard to strip through all that's happened.  

Last I updated it was Wednesday May 19th around 5am and I was having issues sleeping, thinking things were "kind of" looking up! lol  It's so amazing how quickly things can change causing your whole world to just spin out of control!

Well Tuesday and Wednesday morning I was looking a lot better.  Labs weren't really better but they also were not worse.  So in reality it looked like I'd just be getting comfy for a couple days while they made sure that didn't change.  

Around mid Wednesday I started to feel some pains in my stomach, a slight headache all day and just not....good.  =p  Great description I know but it's all I got! lol  They had already been drawing blood frequently for testing and after I let them know I wasn't feeling so great they decided to draw some early.  Over the next several hours the normal procedures were run and I was monitored on all the same stuff as the past couple days.  My blood results came back, again, not normal.  They still decided to wait a bit monitor me while my Doctor talked with a specialist about my latest results and what would be a good step to take.

It was when I see my doctor walk in the room after hours in his normal clothes that I knew it wasn't going to be another "easy" night.   

Dr. H is awesome and I trust his opinion and take what he says to heart.  He of course cracked a joke about everyone being gone. :)  My mom had just left 20 min prior to head home and get some rest.  Austin was just in the other room.  Dr. H grabbed my chart as we waited for Austin so we all 3 could talk about the options and what's going on.

We all knew that the big concern was the possibility of Pre-Explampsia which could be causing the high BP and all that good stuff.  Dr. H mentioned that the steroid shots they had given me could have masked or even been a temporary bandaid for symptoms of Pre-E.  Which in turn is why after the 2nd shot and some time it was starting to show it's ugly face once again.

He let us know there were certain things in the results that have doubled in the wrong direction making him and the specialist concerned for my safety.  SO he put it down pretty simple for us, we had 2 options.

   1) We could try and deliver naturally by being induced.  The concern for this was that after 3 days of contracting my cervix still hadn't changed meaning that with inducing the labor I could be looking at about 12-18 hrs of labor.  Which in turn would give the chance for my platelets to get worse and BP to go up even more.  During that point it may cause me to bleed or even seizure during the labor.  Another concern was with 1 placenta, once baby A is born it could turn baby B to a improper birth position which would cause us to go through a vaginal/C-section birth.  

Basically the longer we waited the more danger it was to me and option 1 had a good wait period.

2)  We have a C-section birth, now.  Still risk for bleeding and of course normal risks along with C births.  

At this point there was too much going on for me to really properly think straight.   I wasn't feeling well thanks to whatever my body was doing!  Just yesterday I thought I was doing fine and would be going home to cook these twinkers more.  I'm nervous because EVERYTHING I wanted to happen has been basically thrown out the window.  The babies were coming early,  the birth plan I wanted wasn't a safe one, possible but not the safest route to take and everyone around could see that.  

Dr. H gave Austin and I some time to talk and think about what we wanted.  He also let me know I could call my mom and he would speak with her cause they work in the same building and it may help to get some outside voice on the situation.  

To Austin's amusement my only concern was that he'd still love me and find me attractive if we took option 2.  =P I mean come on girls you know you feel the same.  You had a specific body before you were pregnant, you wanted that body back after the birth of your child (or children).  So getting chopped up isn't exactly at the top of your list when you think of things your hubbs finds attractive about you.  
He laughed and let me know he's concerned about my safety and at this point he sees this as our option.  

I proceeded to call my mom, slowly beginning to become more and more aware of what was about to happen.  I explained what I could but Dr. H saw it was hard for me to get the words out and took over.  As he explained the situation to her one of our many amazing nurses started to explain what will happen in the next few hours.  I was shaking practically crying, wanting to jump out the window an run.  I wasn't prepared for this!  I should have had more time to make things right but I didn't.

After about 20 minutes it was decided.  My parents and in-laws were on their way to the hospital and I was bending over a pillow trying to relax as a epidural was being put down my back.  

It was about to happen....we were about to be parents, I was about to be cut open and have these 2 angels be removed early in hopes of keeping me healthy.

Everything moved quickly after that.  Within 30 minutes we were ready to go to the OR. Austin was in  his fancy get up---

And I was laying in bed shaking like a quake from nerves and meds.  Neither of us were ready but we both knew it was the right choice.  That choice became apparent even during surgery.....

May 19th, 2010 11:05 pm---

"OK, Heather you're going to feel pressure", "K"......silence, then I could hear her.  Short breaths followed by gurgled cries.  It was Oakley Elizabeth, our baby A, crying as they carried her to be warmed and cleaned.  I broke into tears as I watched Austin run around with our Flip camera to catch her in the other room.

I was alone laying there listening to her tears and listening to the surrounding strangers welcome her to the world.  We had talked about what Austin would do when they were born, if he would stay or he would follow them to ensure they were OK.  We both felt it best he stayed close to them and I would be fine to finish up.

11:06 pm---

"OK, here we go, more pressure."    Instantly you could hear our little Kenzington Lee ripping up a storm with her cries.  I was in awe and shock.  I could hear the little things that were kicking and hiccuping inside me for the last 7 months!  Just like Oakley, Kenzington was rushed to the next room to be stimulated and cleaned.

It was nearly over--or I thought.  While laying there, listening, crying, I started to feel sleepy and notice a rush from the people around me.  Things weren't normal.  Doctors were barking orders, nurses flying by the seat of their pants, Austin returned checking if I was ok trying to talk to me make sure I was still with him.  I was, but I was tired and thirsty.  A nurse came by to assure me it would be just a little longer not to worry.

I wasn't worried--they were here!  How could I worry?  The people working over me knew what they were doing and were doing what they could to make things right.  That's all that mattered.  I never really understood what was wrong until I heard a doctor order for some blood.  Then I knew, that their worries had come true and I was bleeding from my current condition.

The rest was a blur, a giant blur of shaking, shivering, muttering and flashing faces.  I didn't get to see or hold my baby girls right away.  I expected that.  I was in no shape to do so.  It was late by the time I recognized the faces around me in my room.  My amazing husband with his loving supportive parents and my parents not far from my side finding things they could do to help.

During my recovery it was explained that I had lost blood.  More than they thought I would.  Causes being why they did not want to wait for this birth any longer.  They ordered blood and I was quickly put on a drip.  My vitals were still not amazing which had them keep me longer upstairs to stabilize before taking me to Mother Baby floor below.

The highlight of my groggy night was when they said I was being moved from Labor and Delivery floor to Mother baby and I was able to see my girls for the first time--

Oakley Elizabeth Adams 3lbs 13oz 11:05pm   -------   Kenzington Lee Adams 3lbs 13oz 11:06pm

It was late, nearly 4am.  I was in no shape to speak let alone be awake! I just could not wait to see our little ones and tried my hardest to keep my eyes open.

I was able to touch Oakley and even hear her cry a little as I stroked her little foot as she lay there in bed in shock at the world around her.  Kenzington was out like a light.  Worn out from all the commotion that had happened.  Before I could comprehend what happened I had to leave.  It was my turn to recover...

After seeing them that night I was unable to see them until I was given the clear to leave the bed.  My vitals for the next couple days were unstable and worrisome.  They had me on a constant drip of magnesium to stop possibilities of a seizure.

Now for anyone who doesn't know what this drug is---call yourself lucky.  You are basically "sick", all the time, while on it.  I couldn't see straight or even pull a full complete sentence out of my butt if I wanted to! lol

It was hard having to rely completely on everyone around me for help and support to do anything.  I couldn't even see my own children.  It was pictures and stories of how they were that kept me happy and persistent in getting past all this so I could see my babies.  There were soo many variables keeping me from them that were out of my control!

It wasn't till today May 21st in the early morning was I given a good enough bill of health to be removed from my machines!  They waited to remove the catheter till I had a good night sleep off the machines.  Once that was off my hands I instantly wanted to see my girls.

=) I did.  I had been told both had been on and off CPAP machines to help with breathing which was normal for 32 weekers.  In fact our little one Kenzington was breathing on her own the day before!

Today she was put on a respirator to help her keep her lungs open they think because she was being such a trooper the day before and wore herself out.  Other than that they both are beautiful amazing and strong little babies for being so small!

They are slowly getting some of their mums milk and from what the nurses tell me is Oakley (like she was in my belly) is a feisty little one that likes to wiggle her way out of things.  They have their daddy's hair which has made me happy!  They seem to have their moms long fingers I was so lucky to touch and hold today.  One of the nurses even put a cute little bow on Kenzlee's little head.

We aren't able to hold them yet and wont until they have the tubes in their belly buttons removed.  Hopefully that is soon.  It's going to be a long road to recovery for all of us but we can do it!  They have been more than strong little fighters--heck if you ask me they showed me up! I was the one stuck in bed with issues long before them!

LONG LONG story with many details left untold but to sum it up for you---Our girls were born way before we could even have thought, I was put into a situation that scared many of us and in the end we all are going to be growing stronger together with support from some of the most amazing people in the world!  Family and Friends!  Not to mention the out of this world help and support I have received from the nurses here at this hospital!  I couldn't have been more blessed to be put under the care of these people!

I'll be sure to keep an update of our daily goals/milestones!  Pray for a quick recovery and that our girls will be home in our arms soon!

Till then, this newly started family is kickin' it hospital style in the U.C.


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Uncomfortable much?

The calm before the storm. =p  All swollen and everything.  If you can see the monitor this was when the contractions started to get 3-5 minutes apart on Monday when I was admitted.  Tried to eat some food, yeah that didn't work out well about an hour later when it came back up! hehe.

It's 5am Wednesday and I can't sleep.  Thought I would be able to sleep the night but it's been hard.  For some reason just very uncomfortable.  Have had a few painful contractions but nothing too bad.  Girls are a sleep so that's good for them, hehe.  The nurses are going to be giving me something to help me sleep better tonight.  They say I'm way to easy to take care of and need to ask for help!  My night nurse told me I need to go and teach people not to use the call button just to pick up the box of tissue I'm so easy.   Makes me laugh I guess.......ooooap here comes a contaction, short one. =)  Anyway, I'd rather get out of bed and get most things myself if needed.  Walking is a luxury!  lol Takes being stuck in bed for a couple days to realize that.

Things are looking better though, from my view, so I'm hoping from the docs view as well.  We'll see how today goes and what they have to say.

By the way--Recess is the best cartoon ever! lol Well, at least on disney channel. ;)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hospital Day #2

So here we are hospital day #2!  Last night went smooth after some good meds and I was able to get some sleep on and off every hour.  Going from strong painful contractions every 2-3 minutes to one every hour or even 10 minutes with minimal discomfort was VERY nice!  

The meds seem to still be helping I am having contractions very few and far between.  The steroids seem to be working some magic as well since the girls have been getting hiccups tons! Which they never did before.  So we'll be at that 48 hour mark with those steroids tomorrow morning.

My 24 hour monitoring for tests has come back slightly above average but not horrible so they are still just planning on monitoring my blood pressure and doing a blood test daily, probably for another couple days.  It's pretty much up in the air and depends on a lot of factors.

I've been on strict bed rest basically, I'm not even aloud to be wheeled around in a chair.  They did however let me shower so that was nice to get clean and I am allowed to wear some clothing so that was nice to slip into something other than this gown.

Both doctors saw me this morning to assure my time frame of stay and told me to just relax and let them take care of me for now.  The hubs and I are hoping I get sent home on bed rest soon and we don't need to worry about this too  much longer.  We will see though.  What is ever best for the babies in my opinion.  Who by the way are perfectly fine, still, like I said they get the hiccups which is really cute to listen to through the monitors.

I appeared to have gained probably 20lbs in water weight though! More in fact!  My whole body is pretty much swollen which is a sight to see.  It makes walking interesting on my bathroom breaks.  :p I haven't seen that go down, just get worse.  So I think that is a good factor in them keeping me here longer since that is a large sign of Pre-E.

The nurses have been amazing, absolutely no complaints as of yet from me.  In fact I'm being told I don't complain enough! lol   I guess I just don't like being such a burden.  *shrug*

My mom stopped by to keep me company for a bit while Austin was working.  It was very nice to have someone in the room, although I felt horrible cause I kept dosing off.  Even though she kept saying I needed to sleep I just couldn't help but want to stay up and keep her company.

Everyone has given me great advice and been so supportive I love it!  It's really helped a lot.  Specially through that first day of being here.  It was really rough and so sudden it just kind of made things harder. I'm just happy to say things are looking brighter today and hopefully even better tomorrow.

I will keep updates when I get them of what's going on.  Due to orders by my hubs and family, apparently I need to keep a good record of what happens here, even if it's just me sitting in a bed looking at the TV! ;)

Thanks again to everyone!  Austin's parents for watching our doggies and mine for keeping me company when they can.  I love you all!

32 Weeks and in the hospital

Well-we are now at the 32 week marker today.  It's a milestone!  Of course with a milestone something has to come up, right?

Friday night I was lucky enough to start having what I thought to be normal Braxton Hicks happening maybe every other hour nothing painful just fun. :)

We had our appointments with the OB and the specialist set up for today so I of course thought nothing of it and figured I'd bring it up during that time.  Just so happens my body had other plans.  Starting around 2 this morning the contractions became some what painful.  Mostly back pain keeping me from going back to sleep.  After an hour or so of tossing and turning I figure I'd try the good ol' tricks of walking around, switching postions, drinking water and taking a shower to calm or subside the contractions.  That did not work of course.  I was able to relax in bed for about 45 minutes but the contractions got stronger and soon I woke the hubs who then began to help me time them.  They were a steady average of 10 min apart.

We debated on just waiting it out for my appointments at 2pm and 3pm but figured we would play it safe and call the doc.  Luckily the mums was at work and able to track him down and ask his opinion of what we should do.  He said with out hesitation to head into Labor and Delivery to be safe and probably just be monitored for a couple hours.

We made it safe and sound got checked into a room and had me strip down to the gown to get things going.  They first monitored the heart rates and contractions and ran a few other normal tests.  We sat around for a bit while they got results.  I was checked for dilation and sure enough I was 1cm dilated and 70% effaced.  After speaking with my doctor he decided to get me started on the Steroid shots right away just in case.  Contractions picked up and became more painful after that so I was checked again and had moved to 1 1/2cm.  Not a huge change but still quite a change for so early on.

They took us in for an U/S to see how the babies were sitting and their weights/measurements.  Both babies are still being awesome, head down.  Baby A is 3lbs 15oz while baby B is 4lbs  11oz, which the doc said was great.  They both seem to be doing perfectly fine and moving around like crazy.

The main concern seems to be my blood pressure as well as some other tests coming back not normal but not super off either.  They are concerned that I may go into active preterm labor due to the fact my contractions are not stopping even after getting medication that should have slowed them down.

......ok :) to finish this post, I got groggy and some pain meds to help me rest so stopped mid post.

I'm still dilated the same amount and it seems the rest and morphine has helped with the contractions for now.  I got some much needed sleep between the contractions I could.  They did more blood tests and looks like one is still abnormal and a big concern is still Pre-E.

My DR came to see me and says he expects me to only leave if there is a dramatic improvement other wise he wants me to prepare for it to be when the babies are born.  They are pushing for 3 more days to get the steroids in me to help those babies lungs.  Best case scenario  (the one I'm hoping for) is 2 more weeks with these girls in side!

I'm still getting the meds for the contractions doesn't seem to do much it's reduced them to 5min apart rather than 2 I think.

I want to thank my husband for being the best man ever!  He has been nothing but by my side to help me through this and doing everything he can for me!  I love him so much and cannot believe I got so lucky.

Will have more news tomorrow when we can get more details! :) TIll then thank you all so much for the support and love it's more than amazing!

<3 Night all

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Thoughts and Prayers

Last week my little nephew was admitted to the hospital.  The poor little guy had a fever that wouldn't let up and was not eating or drinking.  He has since been moved to Primary Childrens where he is receiving the care he needs.  They were able to find out what was causing his constant pain which was due to a Sceptic Knee and Hip.  They have done several surgeries to clean them out in hopes of relieving his fever and pain.  It has been a huge struggle for the guy and up until last night they were worried of possible blood transfusion.  Recently I've been updated that he's stable and doing better.  Please keep him in your hearts and prayers!  

He's such a trooper for going through this struggle and only being 15 months old.  We know he'll pull through we just pray it is sooner than later.

His mother has been by his side always and I can't imagine the strain it has been on her.  

We love you guys and are here for you! <3

Friday, May 7, 2010

Thank you x's a million!

Today at noon one of Austies schools threw me and him a baby shower.  I have never met these people before in my life and was so shocked to find that they were going to do this for us.  Of course I expected it to be small with a few outfits which was going to be more than helpful!  I was blown away though, they really went all out.  There were so many cute outfits and useful items given to us for the girls.  They even all pitched in for the amazing stroller! (above)  

I have no clue how I'm going to thank them all!  I want to do something big for them but just don't know what!  I will definitely need to buy more Thank You cards! haha

It was a such a great gesture I'm still in shock.  They were all so sweet and great to talk with as well.  Making me feel more than welcome and giving me a a boost of self esteem telling me I looked amazing for having twins. (When I feel like a giant whale!)  <3  We are so lucky to have so many wonderful people in our life.

We have a busy weekend ahead.  My cousins wedding shower tomorrow, mothers day, then Austin's birthday Monday and seeing my parents off on their vacation as well.  I'm excited to see family though and spend time with them all.

Till next week!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

30 weeks!

Well- we are in week 30 of the Twin pregnancy and I feel bad saying this but, are they ready yet? =D I'm being told left and right I look ready to pop and I still have weeks to go! Boy am I feeling it. Alas I can wait!

We had our check up with the doctor today. Both heart beats sound great and I'm measuring fine. He said he was proud of me for making it this far and at 32 weeks it will be even better because they will be more viable to have lungs that are ready for action.

He let me know that at 36 weeks I need to be prepared to have these kiddos. (If not sooner of course) He said that pushing it further is fine but sometimes more issue can arise and at 36 weeks they will be ready to see the world. The doctor also assured me that if they continue to stay in their head down position we will be trying for a normal va-jay-jay birth but to also be prepared for possibility of needing to have a C-section mid delivery if one is not handling it and that we will cross that bridge when we get to it. I know that these girls can make it through so I'm not worried.

At 32 weeks I will be starting my stress tests and it will start to get pretty busy again with the DR appointments. =) FUN!

SO, that leaves us with a time frame at least. 6 more weeks and we should be able to see our girls for the first time!!! (If all goes as planned) Until then I'm told to take it easy and watch for any problems that may arise.

We have our first Prenatal class tomorrow night at 7PM which I'm excited for. It's going to be fun having Austin there learning everything along with me.

Down side of this week is my little pirate nephew is in the hospital! Poor guy has been sick since the weekend and they are trying to figure out what's going on. They are running several tests and hopefully we can figure this out so the little guy gets better. We plan on making a little visit tonight to see them. Everyone keep him in your hearts and prayers! <3

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I really never have the most exciting things to say these days. Being stuck at home and unable to go on the normal adventures we used to. So that leaves this blog pretty bland and I apologize. =p

The last 2 weeks have been a roller coaster of busy and absolutely nothing to do. It just seems harder and harder every day to find something productive to do. It was nice to get out of the house this last weekend and head down to Yuba Lake for the day. Even if it was pretty dang cold and we spent a good portion of the time in the trailer. I still enjoyed it. Sadly I chose not to take the trip to Las Vegas with my family. The risk just seemed to high for something bad to happen on the drives. Things would be a lot easier if the weather would stop being so bi-polar. It would give me the opportunity to get out and walk the dogs or just play with them in the back yard. I can honestly say I'm going nuts not being able to longboard or ride my motorcycles or even go mountain biking or hiking! Those will have to wait till next spring I suppose.

In the end I know it will all be worth it and I seriously cannot wait for that time to come when I get to see the little buggers me and Austin created. We already plan on taking them swimming early on and taking a much needed trip to Las Vegas to see their uncle within the first 4 months.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning to measure my belly and hear their little heart beats. Being able to hear those "woosh woosh woosh" noises is always reassuring, even though I can feel them poking and prodding on a hourly basis. We don't have another U/S till the 17 since they finally decided to spread them to every 4 weeks. That is making things drag on too it seems. I always looked forward to seeing them.

Only concern, which may not even be worth worrying over, is that when I lie down or sleep my fingers go numb within a few minutes. It's probably normal and nothing to worry about like every annoying, disgusting, painful thing that happens during pregnancy. =D

I've been looking at what classes I can take in the coming semester but am going to need to work a few things out. I need to call my advisor and get set up on the right course towards my BFA in Graphic Design. The plan is to focus on just one class this fall and then jump to a full load next. Which means either daycare for the little ones or gracious Grandparents ;). We'll see how it all works out though.

So- I will update tomorrow after my appointment and let everyone know how it's going! 30 Weeks baby!! Woot!