Tuesday, November 30, 2010


This year we decided to take a little road trip to see family in Washington.  We knew it would be an adventure having 2 6month olds to travel with.  But we also couldn't wait to get on the road and out of town.  

The plan was to leave Tuesday afternoon unfortunately mother nature had other plans and roads were closed till early Wednesday morning at the Idaho/Utah border.  So instead we headed out early morning Wednesday in hopes of getting to the closure as it opened.  By luck we did, it was around 10AM when we reached Snowville and after a diaper change and a rest the roads were cleared and open..well..if you call this cleared:

Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Ok so I kind of missed the "actual" day 30.  Vacation, holidays, sorry it does that to a person! :)

Either way late or not I'm back and here it is.

Dear Heather,

I love how amazing your are. I love how much you have going for you.   I love how much energy you have with your kittles. I love that you want and do so many extreme sports it's scary.  I love how you have such a kind heart especially towards animals. I love how open you are to new things.  I love how silly you can act.  I love your ADD.  I love your creativity. I love that you love your family so much.  I love your through and through!



Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. 

I hope to be able to be my outgoing self again and be able to forgive things easier.  Because I've become self conscious from some of the things I've been through.  I want to be able to dance like an idiot at the store in front of my girls and not worry about what people think, because I'm having fun.  Or even in front of my family, I hold back and it's dumb.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? 

In all honesty if I were to be pregnant again, I would be pretty upset. It would make things so much harder for us than they already are currently.  Also, I haven't fully decided if I want another child after having the twins.  LONG story full of feelings and such. What would I do if I was?  I would take it as it came, I'd be upset but accept the fact that I was just meant to have another kid.  

If I got someone pregnant....I'd probably be kidnapped and tested for being so awesome!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now? 

I have so much going for me right now.  
My amazing husband!
He's always behind me in everything I choose to do with my life. 

My little gremlins!
They have made the days full of smiles and laughter.

My entire family! Who have always been there for me.
The fact that I get to go back to school finally in the spring to work towards my goal of supporting my family and making enough to do the things we want to do.
  The fact we are lucky enough to own our own home and able to have a few toys (like motorcycles, snowboards, bikes, longboards, etc) to play with when we have time.
For all the friends we have who care about us and our family.
I mean I really could go on, I'm pretty dang lucky and have a wonderful life right now. 

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? 

Ha ha, I love that this depressing question comes after my recent post of how happy I am.

Oh well, right? Day 26! woot! :)

To answer the question simply, Yes, and unfortunately it was a serious contemplation for me daily way back when. (Now to answer it more in depth! =p) Heck it's been probably 5 years since I really thought about things like that though.  I don't know if many of my friends or even family know this but I suffer from Major Depression which is a little different than Clinical Depression.  I used to be on a couple of different medication back in my teen years.  Even was in therapy for 6 months or more.  I hurt myself to take away a lot of the pain I felt and thought that life wasn't worth it anymore. In fact there were a lot of things I did or tried to do I'm not proud of in hopes of escaping life.  

But what I am proud of is that I was able to learn to manage it on my own.  I hated what the medication did to me, it made me feel numb and even more alone.  So, I chose to fight and work at things to help myself without the medication.  It's a battle and something that needs to be watched daily.  There are lots of things I "use" to cope with it like riding my dirt bike, as of the last 6 months it's been my babies.  They were really worried I'd get PPD (Postpartum Depression), but in all honesty these girls have made it that much easier to get through the days.  It was, I'll admit, very hard while they were in the hospital but they were my reason for getting out of bed to go see them. 

My husband has been a huge back bone as well, he can tell when I have harder days than others, or I simply tell him myself and together we figure out what to do.  

I don't mind talking about what I used to do if asked, in fact I've helped a  couple girls I know who used to hurt themselves too because of my experience with it.  It makes me feel good that I can help others, on top of I'm able to control how I feel through my own, "therapy". 

ANYWAY--enough of the blah... :)

It goes so fast.

So I did not realize that yesterday was officially the gremlins 6 month birthday!  Things get going and end up just blending together sometimes.  I'm sure some of you moms can agree. :)

Since I went over their measurements from their 4 months RN visit, I'm just going to go ahead and kind of "vent" about how great I think these 2 chubby farts are. <3

Neither I or Mr. A couldn't imagine life any other way.  Just last night he told me these girls were his life and he doesn't know what he would do without them.  It's honestly just amazing to hear him say things like that.  I know he loves them to death.

They talk so much now sometimes we can't carry on conversations as if they are letting us know, "hey! It's our turn!".  So we let them.  They've grown so much and have learned so many new things it's hard to believe this all began just 6 months ago.  Sometimes I miss having them kick around in my belly but then I remember how painful it was too, ha ha.  

You never know how much or easier it is to love someone unconditionally till you have children. It's the truth, we thought we loved our dogs like crazy!  They were our "children" for over 2 years.  But, in reality it's nothing like the love we have for the girls.  

Speaking of the dogs-- they adore the girls so much and want to play so bad it drives them mad that they can't!  Auzzie especially will sit and lay by them while they play on the floor watching their every move.  
He really loves to give them kisses.

The girls laugh, giggle, and know what's coming. 

Kiona likes to sit at their feet as they kick her in the face...she doesn't care as long as she's getting attention! 

We are starting to see more and more of our features in them.  They still have their daddy's eyes and skin but they have my pokey ears and blonde hair. 

Kenzlee sleeps through the night, while Oakley can't seem to and insists on having a bottle between the hours of 4-6am. Kenzington has always slept better even during the day she'll generally sleep through a feeding.  Probably why Oakley has gained so much more this past month.  (if anyone knows how to break this...haha, let me know!) 

We have our trip coming up next week and I'm so excited to introduce them to family they have never met before. 
Soon it will be Christmas and we'll be able to celebrate it with babies.  The time moves too quickly and makes me wish I could stop it in the moments you want  to live forever.

I guess that's why I take so many pictures of them. =))

Friday, November 19, 2010

Funky Friday

It's just been one of those days but I can't help but feel the love I get from my little family!  No matter how cranky they are they always love to cuddle.  :)

Here's a few pictures we took to keep them distracted through some of the madness!

("That person in the camera looks like me!")

(Little blondies hairs are coming in!)

Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Besides the fact that I have a very supportive family who loves me.  I feel that everything happens for a reason.  There have been too many instances to think about that have led me to where I am today and if I would have done those things differently I wouldn't have met people or ended up where I am right now.  Someone has a plan for me or else I probably wouldn't be here.  Now to just find out what that plan is!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

I'll dedicated it to my husband.  I would to my gremlins but I think they've just started to create the playlist to their life! :)

  1. Everlong - Foo Fighters : Played at our wedding
  2. Lucky - Jason Mraz : I hear this every time he calls me
  3. Bubbly - Colbie Cailaat : Everything I feel for him
  4. Breakout - Foo Fighters
  5. The Pretender - Foo Fighters 
  6. Better Together - Jack Johnson
  7. Decode - Paramore 
  8. I want you so bad I can't breathe- OK Go
The others have different random meanings.  I honestly could do a whole playlist from the Foo Fighters...sad I know. 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Hello, My name is Heather...

and I'm addicted to sugar.  

In all seriousness though, I am.  It's as bad as a drug.  I cannot go a couple hours without searching the drawers and cupboards for some sort of candy I may have stashed away last holiday.  With halloween just passing it's been a little out of hand.  So Mr. A and made a little wager.  If I can go 46 days, till January 2nd, without eating any sugar (minus Christmas day....I know but come on it's Christmas!) he will get me a new pair of jeans. 

This may seem like an easy feet, but in all honestly I don't know if I can do it!  I'm just getting anxiety right now knowing there are brownies I made sitting on the counter!

So in short here is to 46 (or 45 however you see it) of no sugar and a new pair of jeans......crud!!

Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life. 

I wish I would have gone on more road trips with my friends.  Instead I felt stuck here due to someone who had too much control over me.  There are lots of pictures I see that I should have been in and it's pretty depressing sometimes.  I just have to keep thinking to my, life has really just begun and I'm going to have many many chances to see new things and enjoy them with my friends and family.  

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. 

Going to that one party... Gave into pure pressure causing me to forget who I really was.  I will never be the same cause of everything that happened from that night forward.  I wish I had someone there to protect me but I pushed all those people away.  It's something to grow and learn from like every trial in our lives.  

Monday, November 15, 2010

6 Month RN visit

The RN came by again today for their 4 month adjusted visit, but yes they are 6 months old. :)  
They were weighed in at Kenzington 15lbs 14oz and Oakley at 16lbs 15oz.  
So we think Oakley is going through a bit of a growth spurt as well as she doesn't sleep as well/long and tends to want to eat an extra bottle a day.  None the less they are both doing great!  In the 90th and 97th percentile. 

They both can sit up on their own for a few seconds at a time.  We think they may be teething since they bite on everything you put in their mouth and have been little pills more often than not. Haha.

It's so great to see week by week what they learned. We have been using some small sign language signs around them even though we know they can't do it with their hands. They have definitely learned the "milk" sign so even without a bottle in hand and we sign that to them they start to fuss and sometimes cry like, "yeah we know we want it now!" :)

Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

I would go see them.  Be by there side, people fight it happens.  You fight with your husband/wife.  Anyone who says fights don't happen are lying...I've had a guy tell me his parents never fought....yeah right.  Doesn't mean if this said person wasn't in an accident that the next day you'd probably be talking again about how stupid you both were acting.  It's definitely no reason to leave them there without support.  

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.

We've kind of already covered this.  Don't get me wrong I don't mind a drink here or there, specifically on vacation though.  But I see them mostly as an escape from someones problems.  Having been with an addict I guess it's pretty much set my view on it in stone.  They are pointless and I feel sorry for people who choose to use them.  There are the select few who become addicted not by choice for valid chronic pain.  Then there are the ones who seek it out.  Unfortunately there isn't a way to watch this and stop it.  So it happens.  I just wish more people had a voice about it instead of turning a blind eye or pretending it doesn't exist.  If there were I think more people would seek help instead of throwing their lives away.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Religion:  My view on religion is that practically every church (negating Buddhists and such of course) stems from the same book, the bible, and a lot of those churches have another random book that they have added to that.  The beliefs and "rules" are different based on the leader during that time, not straying from the already placed rules but maybe adding to them.  I believe in a god and that he had a son.  I've had friends who don't believe in a god at all and have made very valid arguments as to why.  But none the less people keep believing, it makes us feel safe.  My religion I think depending on where you are/attend has lost sight of the big picture, in my opinion.  I still think it's the "correct" church simply because to feels right. I feel more comfort there than I do any other.  I hope to one day go back and hopefully learn more and to give the twins a base to start with for what they choose when they grow up.  In fact we are working on a blessing here in the near future for them.

Politics:  Honestly I didn't get interested in politics till Obama became president, because he just made me mad.  I mean Bush wasn't a perfect model by any means but he kept his mouth shut most the time and when he did talk you couldn't help but want to give him a lolly pop and pat him on the back while saying "it's ok".  Obama just rubs me the wrong way and I wont go into it further simply because I think politics brings out the worst in people.  Opinions don't seem to be accepted if they differ from the party stating them.  So to avoid conflict :) I'm done. 

Friday, November 12, 2010

Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.

Not that my views should matter or effect what gay people do but I don't see the problem.  Two people fall in love and want to be together for ever.  What's wrong with that?  I don't think people realize that there has been homosexuality for as long as there have been people on this earth.  It's just that now for some reason it's not accepted like it used to be.  I've met and had plenty of gay friends and they are very nice people and no different from you or me.  

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

I've read a lot of books but I can't say I've read any that have changed my view on anything.  Most of the books I read are fantasy/sci-fi.  I've been reading a semi romance one lately and I guess it's made me really appreciate how lucky I am to be with who I am.  There are some real pieces of work out there and if you get stuck with one it's going to make life horrid.  I'm "stuck" with an amazing person.  So, yeah :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Drugs, alcohol, war, mosquitos.  I could probably go on! I would mainly have to go with drugs, but drugs lead to the alcohol thing too.  What I don't understand is how they let people drink alcohol but drugs are illegal.  Why not make them both illegal?  They both do the same amount of damage.  I've seen alcohol kill more brain cells than drugs.  People can become addicted to both.  People die from both.  You cannot drive or operate machinery while on either.  I know it's probably  because of the paycheck the government somehow gets from the distribution of said alcohol..just doesn't make sense to me.    They are both pointless and help no one. 

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Aside from my amazing family the husband and the little twins whom I couldn't imagine life without.  I would have to say my dirt bike.  In all seriousness, really!  I haven't been able to ride in the past year because of being pregnant and the girls and it's been really hard.  Going riding has always been my stress release and little else helps.  Just walking into the garage I almost start twitching to just get it started to smell the 2 stroke engine bRaaAAAppppaa!  Seriously my #2 love! I really hope to get more time in the near future to get out there and get dirty.  

Monday, November 8, 2010

Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)

I can be pretty honest that my "real life" hero has not let me down.

So, I'll go with my movie hero! :p

Dear Lora Croft...I can't help but want to be as Kick A as you one day!  Running around unknown tombs, seeing things no one will ever see in their entire lives!  You're pretty, daring and don't take no for an answer.  So why is it you seem to have so many one night stands?  That's just not lady like!  That is not something us girls want to look up to!  It's been difficult to enjoy your BAMF'ness while seeing that you so easily give your self away. Now, if you want to make a long term thing with Gerard Butler then I am behind you 100%.  Until then, I'm going to have to FF through those other ridiculous men!


Sunday, November 7, 2010

If a baby was president there would be no taxes..

Yeah so we've been watching a lot of The Office lately, hence the title, so I haven't really spent my evenings updating!  There also  hasn't been too many changes.  Just the same ol' daily routine.  

Fall is definitely in the air!  I love being able to watch the leaves change colors and being up in the hills so close to the mountains I can just look out the window.

The girls are so chunky and doing new things every day.  We've started them on rice cereal just a few days ago.  They seem to be doing great on it, we are currently just putting it in their night time and morning bottles.  We also started getting some fruits and veggies for them.  Oakley is doing great and getting the hang of getting her tongue out of the way while being patient for her food.  Kenzington is getting there, she gets a little impatient and starts spitting it out but the first few spoon fulls she does really good.

Both have been getting so good at grabbing at things and chewing on them  we are starting to think they may be beginning to teeth. But dont know for sure.

Their Gamma S.  took us all shopping the other day and they loved it!  They got to watch all the people go by and just sat there chewing on their toys.

Oakley tends to try a little bit harder to roll over and wiggle out of things..and here's proof..

Kenzington likes to try and sit up but other than that she'll sit pretty still/flat.  

Their schedules are getting better and better every day. They are sleeping for a solid couple hours each nap after a full belly and some play time.  

Then roughly around 8:30 they are in bed and sleeping till 7am.  It's obviously will vary depending on how they feel but it's 75% chance of them following their normal routine.

It's been so fun to play with them from day to day and see how happy they are when they see us after their naps.

I'm going to be starting school full time in January and I just keep thinking about how hard it is going to be, being away from them for those classes.  I'm going to miss them so much!
I just hope I don't miss anything too awesome!  Although we are still waiting to see if they are accepted to WeeCare which may change things if they do not.  

So not a bunch to report right now, it's been pretty boring around here.  :)  

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)

This is pretty easy. 

Dear Foo Fighters,
I discovered how amazing your music was about a year before my life felt like a broken mirror.  I'm pretty sure there are hundreds out there who say you've touched their lives in some way.  But with me you helped me through so much pain you're the first thing I think of to listen to while I'm down.  I used your song Everlong at my wedding because it fit perfect for the path my life took.  I waited for that happiness..everlong! :)  Not only the great times with great friends that were spent talking and going to your concerts.  I've met some people I couldn't imagine my life without through listening to your music.  Like the girls God Mother!   Thank you for continuing to make some great music and just be probably one of the funnest most laid back group of guys I've come to know.


Bring on the "CHEEESE"!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.

My back/shoulders...they are a little more broad than most woman I think. Odd choice I know, but I like 'em.  They always stay more toned than the rest of me.  

Friday, November 5, 2010

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Hahaha, Right now?  My twins!  
No but really, probably the most would be my eyes if I were to choose one singular thing.  Since the girls were born though all I mostly hear is, "you don't look like you just had twins."...well that doesn't narrow it down. <3

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Most people I have met have led me to where I am today.  So I couldn't say I wish I didn't know them.  But, if I had to think about it probably my ex would come to mind the most or even some people from school.  So, I don't know...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

There are a lot of people that seemed to have drifted away.  I miss some of them and others it was probably for the best.  There are 2 people that come to mind.  One in particular is my bestest Tasha.  She started to go to a new school and we kind of just stopped talking. Not sure why.  But we eventually got back in touch and even though she lives a bit a way I'm glad we are talking again!  I missed her and she is always there if I need her.  I hope I'm as good of a friend as she is, but worry that I'm not. <3 Love ya girl!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crud.

I'm going to have to say some of the kids my last year in Jr. High.  There were rumors spread that were very untrue that caused a lot of drama.  It got to the point my dad would come and take me out of school for the day so we could go out West and ride dirt bikes.  He would have to do this at least 2-3 times a week!  I loved it because it was my stress reliever.  We would climb some of the hardest hills we could find, I would work myself into a sweat and to the point of being so tired my legs would barely move!  But I didn't have to think about all the crap back at home.  Kids can be harsh and cruel.  Those people who say forget about it, move on, ignore them!  Yeah do you ignore being slammed into lockers?  Or tripped consistently while going through the desks?  It made my like hell because I was already going through really really hard times with myself!
BUT, now that's over, I look back and realize that the people who started it all were just frightened and lost.  Even a little jealous and it was their way of gaining control again.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

(aside from the obvious, my little gremlins)
I'm going to have to say my amazing, supportive, adorable, husband Austin.  We met at not one of the highest points in my life but he stuck by me while I tried to work through things.  We've been through so much together and he still looks at me like I'm the most beautiful girl in the world.  I don't know what I would have done with my life without him. He gave me 2 beautiful girls and is  my best friend.  We can do some of the stupidest things together sometimes and just laugh!  Most importantly laugh!  
Love you babe!