Thursday, March 3, 2011

Twin Tips

So being a mom of twins there are so many questions I have daily on how to raise these little buggers.  When it comes to should I buy different toys or two of the same?
Should I always dress them differently?
Should I praise one while the other is lacking and forget about possibly hurt feelings?  

Twins are daily compared to each other on what things are exact and what things are different.  So it makes it hard to regulate how as a parent you should treat them.

I'm sure many moms have seen tips out there while they anxiously research information on babies and children when they are pregnant.   
Well when I was doing this I came across the "Top Ten ways to encourage individuality with Twins"

It has some great advice of what to do during certain situations:

Number 8 is my favorite or most helpful:
"Last year, one of my twins won a writing contest at her elementary school.  While I was bursting with pride are her accomplishment.  I was very concerned at how my other daughter would react to her sister's success.  I felt strongly that we should celebrate the award, despite the possibility of jealous and hurt feelings.  It was a good lesson in how to manage competition between the girls.  We learned to validate each child's feelings about the situation, and when the time came, we celebrated the other's individual success with equal enthusiasm."

In all honesty this has been a problem for me already and the girls are only 9 months.  I seem to freak out with excitement when one accomplishes something and get some what disappointed when the other falls behind, then when the other does catch up I am not as enthused about their achievement.  That's horrible I know!  It's something I truly hope to work on as we all grow as a family.  What's great is these tips work with parents of singletons as well.  With comparing the oldest child to the youngest and so on.

Number 9 was also something that I actually noticed a while back.  I found that I had way more pictures of Kenzington individually than I did of Oakley.  Thinking to myself that in the future they are going to wonder why the difference.  Was she our favorite?  Of course not, there were probably circumstances surrounding why we had so many of her.  But now that I caught that I am able to make a conscious effort to take close to equal amounts of photos or write down equal amounts of individual memories for them.  So that when they look back they will both see their individual progression and memories through out their lives.

I know it's hard as a parent not to compare your first to your last or so on.  We did it with our dogs, our first children, lol.  Auzzie is such an amazing dog probably one of the best around not to mention the most beautiful creature ever! ;)  Then when we got his half sister Kiona we expected the same attitude and response from her as we did Auzzie, not to mention her fur was different and it made us wish we made a different choice.  When she didn't deliver we would blame her for being different and wonder why she isn't exactly like him.  When in reality her differences in her are what make her the dog that she is.  And when looking at these differences we really notice that she too is a cute adorable amazing animal just in her own way.  So we have begun to praise her and treat her with equality next to her brother.  Odd comparison to children and dogs I know, but I think it works, ha.

Anyway, I thought these were some cool tips and wanted to share and hope they help some of you parents to be or current parents have some of the same issues.  ❤


  1. THANKS!!!I really needed to read this cause with all 3 of my kiddos I will take any advise i can!

  2. Hi, Ive been following for a little bit, our boy/girl twins are about the same age as your girls born at 32 weeks on May 13th! I do the same thing with pictures, Ill look through one month and realize I have many more of one then the other, then I catch myself feeling guilty for not having many of the others! Thank you for putting this out there and I am going to be reading the rest of this article!

  3. Very cool to read. Twins don't run in my family or my husband's but it's always fun to read about what other people go through!

    P.S. I'm having a giveaway with Twenty Five Design! Drop by and check it out!

  4. Aloha! I recently noticed that you're a new subscriber to my blog and I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to comment on my most recent post to let me know that you're reading along - I really do appreciate that!

    It's late here in Hawaii so I will make this short, but I'll be back this weekend to catch up on your blog so that I can learn more about you and your little family (the twins...SO adorable!). Thanks again for saying hello. :)

    I hope you have a lovely weekend!


  5. We saw as our twins got older that they started to show more and more individuality in personality and preferences. One thing that helped us foster this in our toddler twins was to let them choose instead of picking things for them (like what to wear). It has been interesting to see them switch personalities at times and blossom as individuals.

  6. i don't have twins, but i do have two. i'm sure it's easy early on to get sucked into the "twin" label...dressing alike, two of everything...but they really are just two individual children that happen to be the same age! i'm sure you will find the right balance. it will be so fun to see them develop their own characters and personalities!


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