So being a mom of twins there are so many questions I have daily on how to raise these little buggers. When it comes to should I buy different toys or two of the same?
Should I always dress them differently?
Should I praise one while the other is lacking and forget about possibly hurt feelings?
Twins are daily compared to each other on what things are exact and what things are different. So it makes it hard to regulate how as a parent you should treat them.
I'm sure many moms have seen tips out there while they anxiously research information on babies and children when they are pregnant.
Well when I was doing this I came across the "Top Ten ways to encourage individuality with Twins"
It has some great advice of what to do during certain situations:
Number 8 is my favorite or most helpful:
"Last year, one of my twins won a writing contest at her elementary school. While I was bursting with pride are her accomplishment. I was very concerned at how my other daughter would react to her sister's success. I felt strongly that we should celebrate the award, despite the possibility of jealous and hurt feelings. It was a good lesson in how to manage competition between the girls. We learned to validate each child's feelings about the situation, and when the time came, we celebrated the other's individual success with equal enthusiasm."
In all honesty this has been a problem for me already and the girls are only 9 months. I seem to freak out with excitement when one accomplishes something and get some what disappointed when the other falls behind, then when the other does catch up I am not as enthused about their achievement. That's horrible I know! It's something I truly hope to work on as we all grow as a family. What's great is these tips work with parents of singletons as well. With comparing the oldest child to the youngest and so on.
Number 9 was also something that I actually noticed a while back. I found that I had way more pictures of Kenzington individually than I did of Oakley. Thinking to myself that in the future they are going to wonder why the difference. Was she our favorite? Of course not, there were probably circumstances surrounding why we had so many of her. But now that I caught that I am able to make a conscious effort to take close to equal amounts of photos or write down equal amounts of individual memories for them. So that when they look back they will both see their individual progression and memories through out their lives.
I know it's hard as a parent not to compare your first to your last or so on. We did it with our dogs, our first children, lol. Auzzie is such an amazing dog probably one of the best around not to mention the most beautiful creature ever! ;) Then when we got his half sister Kiona we expected the same attitude and response from her as we did Auzzie, not to mention her fur was different and it made us wish we made a different choice. When she didn't deliver we would blame her for being different and wonder why she isn't exactly like him. When in reality her differences in her are what make her the dog that she is. And when looking at these differences we really notice that she too is a cute adorable amazing animal just in her own way. So we have begun to praise her and treat her with equality next to her brother. Odd comparison to children and dogs I know, but I think it works, ha.
Anyway, I thought these were some cool tips and wanted to share and hope they help some of you parents to be or current parents have some of the same issues. ❤