There are several things really but I think the most weighing is how I treated my family and what I put them through in the past. Specifically my mom. It took me a long time to realize how bad I was hurting them and to stop. I never knew one person could effect so many people until that moment I saw my mom crying for me to stay. I know it's made me a stronger person overcoming those things but I feel guilty daily for what it put my family through. In a way I blamed them and they did nothing wrong. I cannot imagine having my kids put me through that stress and hope they never do. Not to mention hope they never have to experience what I did.