Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

• I hope I never have to see my girls go through some of the things I did throughout my life.
• I hope I don't live longer than one of my kids.  
• I hope I never have to watch someone I love suffer.
• As much as I think it would be interesting to see this country/world go through something drastic, I hope I'm not alive for it. LOL Contradicting I know.  
• I hope I never have to make someone change my pants for me in my old age. :p

Who knew bottle caps could look so good?

So here's the scoop, I'm horrible at being "Girly"....seriously, BAD. :)  I've been a tom boy my whole life so being good with accessories and matching things has kind of been a challenge for me.  (Unless boy shopping, I'm great at that!)

So finding head bands, hair clips, and accessories for the girls.  I never know what colors to buy because I can never remember what clothes they have!?  Well while my mom and I were doing some early Christmas shopping, not to mention a little splurging of our own, we came upon a kiosk with Peanut Posh accessories.  (Created by a local women in our area)

At first it looked like normal bows and head bands and such.  The nice lady running the kiosk explained how they work!  We instantly fell in love. 

You have SEVERAL options of mix and matching.  For example we purchased:

The Big Kauna  It comes with with 2 petals of all 20 Large and 2 petals of all 20 small flower petals.  Small and Large hair clip and a clear Jeweled bottle cap.  We then purchased separately 2 white headbands (same price as at Kid to Kid) and 4 different bottle caps.  Caps I selected:

Above the headband is one I put together.  Red Small petal light pink large petal. (cloth petals also available) You simply choose what petals will work best with said outfit.  Layer them and add your choice of bottle cap design or bottle cap jewel.  (Mini bottle caps are available for purchase as well) 

This is going to make mix and matching for the twins SO much easier.  I'm so excited to use them daily!  

Also think of it this way, you spend roughly 2-5$ on flowers/bows from Kid to Kid, Babies-r-us, etc.  (Unless you're lucky enough to have the skills to make your own! hehe) I figure with all the different styles and colors of outfits the girls will go through over the years this little package is going to save me a reasonable amount of money.  

ALSO, don't you worry those mums with boys!  They have some adorable neck ties for your little tigers!  

<3

Happy Halloween everyone!

Today was the girls first Halloween! (even though it's Saturday, thank you Utah)

It was such a fun day.  We first went to the mall to see hundreds of kids trick-or-treating from store to store.  There were such cute and scary costumes!

When we first got home it was raining SO BAD!  Luckily after some time it died down and we got to take them to a hand full of houses!

(With Gampa!)

(The little bug with daddy)

(Ducky and Bug)

("Gamma!  I dunno if I like this?")

(Tasting the loot)

(Score!)

Earlier before I made it home their Grandma Adams came by to dress them and see them.  :( I wasn't able to get those pics though. BUT

Later on their cousins got to come and visit!

Tiny Ducky

(Woody and his horse)

I will have to say it seems to have been a successful Halloween despite the horrible weather! :)  Cannot wait for the years to come.  We already  have a great Family costume plan for one of the future years.

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.

Oh man there are so many things I've wanted to do in my life.

Here's just a few I guess!

• Visit Ireland and do an Alaskan cruise.
• Be successful enough to work primarily from home and not have to worry about buying new things when I need to. 
• Make a traditional backpacking trip every year.
• Be the coolest parent ever so that when my kids grow up I'm proud to call them my own! :) 
• Discover a star.
• Show my family how much I love them so that at the end of my life they never question what they meant to me. 
• Graduate college with 3.0 or higher (hopefully within the next 3 years!)
• Ride dirt bikes till I'm old and broken to the point of not being able to stand! <3

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone else for.

This is something I'm not a huge fan of talking about.  Specifically in detail.  BUT, I need to forgive my Ex (who I was with before I met my most amazing hubby!).  His family and ours were friends, him and his identical twin brother (ironic I know) were best friends with my brother.  In high school we started dating it lasted 3 1/2 years.  

He tore me down to someone I swore I would never be.  He hurt me physically and emotionally.  So bad that I've still not fully recovered (emotionally).  It was one of those situations you swear to your self you'll never be one of those girls.  But once you're drawn into that situation it often takes miracles to be removed.  I lost myself, friends, family, money, trust and much more by staying with him.  I never thought I could leave, he made sure I knew I couldn't find someone else because of how broke and pathetic I was.  I need to forgive him for the fact he had little control, he has addictions that he couldn't handle.  I need to forgive his family for turning a blind eye.  I'd imagine how hard it would be to see my child act that way.

It made me so much stronger to be able to walk away from that pain.  But has taken years and work to realize how much I deserve and how much I can do to make others happy. It is still so hard to see a man get angry and not cower in fear.  

It's taught me to know what to look for so IF my child is ever in this situation and will do everything in my power to get them out of it.  I can say NO and walk away. 

Its been a good run

The experience has been more than amazing and rewarding.  I will never forget how close it has made me to my baby girls.  But closing in on the 6th month mark we have decided to stop nursing.  I can't imagine never have nursed them and know that they made such an amazing recovery in the NICU because of my choice to give them breast milk.  They have gone from premature little babies to chunky little gremlins.  With school approaching and a long road trip ahead I feel like now would be the best time to stop, not to mention miss O. has been on the verge of a nursing strike for the last week.  No these are not excuses by any means, my entire plan was to stop at 6 months.  <3

I would like to say that I encourage moms to nurse even if for a short period of time.  Yes you can bond using a bottle but I don't think I've felt as close as when nursing at 3AM and having them stare into my eyes and just smile feeling them so close.  With the bottle (which we do through out the day, from pumping) it feels more detached.  

On the other side of the spectrum, it was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done.  Stressful, lots of work (twins..yeah double time), not to mention painful at times.  I still remember working in the hospital to get them to learn how to eat, leaving and pumping at home every 3 hours throughout the night.  You can imagine being attached to a machine for 2 months.  Also the stress of knowing them nursing is what's holding them back (those last 2 weeks specifically), if we were to simply give them a bottle they'd be home that much quicker. Even still coming home for the first week all 3 of us would cry and cry because nursing just didn't seem to work.  But with time it did, we found a schedule, they got stronger and the tears went away.  Even if it meant spending a lot of time on the couch feeling as though it's all we did.  

With all that said and done, I'd go back and do it again.  IF...huge if right now ;),  we do choose to have more children I will nurse them as well.  

I'm proud of my self, many I'm sure thought I'd never make it this far and some even pushed not.  But I did my goal and proved to myself how amazing it can be.  

Millions of Peaches

Since the girls are 5 almost 6 months old we were given the go ahead to try giving them some solids.  Just some select fruits and veggies.  So today I decided why not try some peaches!  (they were the only thing we had they could try)

Kenzlee was first and didn't know what to think of the spoon.  Oakley was smiling but the whole time was like her sissy, a little unsure of how to deal with the spoon.  They seemed to enjoy the juices but didn't know how to handle the goo! :p 

Hoping to get some shopping done and get some Bananas and veggies for them to try out.  

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

There are several things really but I think the most weighing is how I treated my family and what I put them through in the past.  Specifically my mom.  It took me a long time to realize how bad I was hurting them and to stop.  I never knew one person could effect so many people until that moment I saw my mom crying for me to stay.  I know it's made me a stronger person overcoming those things but I feel guilty daily for what it put my family through. In a way I blamed them and they did nothing wrong. I cannot imagine having my kids put me through that stress and hope they never do.  Not to mention hope they never have to experience what I did.  

Wordless Wednesday

Day 2: Something you love about yourself.

People who really know me and my past will understand this is very hard for me..so here goes.

• I love that I'm good at most all sporting activities.
• I love that people come to me for English paper questions.(random)
• I love how well I tan!
• I love that I try to live every day to its fullest.
• I love how random I am sometimes.
• I love that I created TWO amazing kids.
• I love that I'm not afraid to try new things, even if it means a hospital trip. ;)

Our getaway

It's been a little stressful around here the past couple weeks.  Not only I but the kids and their dad have been feeling it weigh pretty heavy on everyone.  I think my parents knew this, because Friday when I spoke to them they insisted we come with them to visit my brother in Las Vegas.  Their treat.  

We accepted and were on our way. It was the perfect weekend to go. At home it was supposed to be rainy and cruddy, my Grandma Chris was going to be in Vegas this weekend as well, and honestly we needed to get out! 

We left Friday night late, around 8pm.  The girls were fed and in their PJ's all cuddled (as much as you can be) in their car seats.  

The drive down was perfect.  A little bit of rain but nothing slowing us down.  The twins slept the entire way only making us stop once, for gas. 

We got in late, but all 4 of us crashed right away.  

The first day we spent relaxing and playing with the kiddles. 

Their Gamma decided they needed some winter clothes and was nice enough to take them shopping.

We then proceeded to go to one of the best places I've eaten in such a long time!  Chicago Brewery - If you have never been I strongly suggest going while you're down that way.  It's small and has such a nice ambiance to it. The staff was so helpful too, making sure the girls had a comfortable place to sit next to their parents.  (who then passed out shortly into the meal) 

(Kenzlee being a little ninja!)

I personally ordered a Turkey wrap with chipotle ranch....SOOO YUMMMY!

(Not to mention the many many different types of beer they have available)

Since my Grandma Chris and Roger were in town for a wedding we were lucky enough to meet up with them at their hotel and have a some brunch on Sunday.

(Great Grandma meeting her babies)

We hung out in their room for a while chatting. It was very nice to just relax and socialize. Not to mention the girls loved it! They wouldn't stop screeching and cooing at everyone. 

(Dad and Roger)

(Oakley being a big girl)

(They love their Uncle Neldon so much!)

After a bit we all got a little antsy and since they were staying at the Flamingo we thought, "Hey! Why not go SEE the Flamingos?"

We were all excited to take the twins out to see the animals. 

(HUGE Koi fish...seriously the size of the babies)

(The Dad trying out the Baby Bjorns his aunt gave us)

We all got to get a group photo...minus my dad taking the picture :)

(Proud Parents)

The twins were loving it so much!  We figured out how to flip them around so they could see better.  

We hated for it to end but had to get back to reality.  I think it was a great trip though.  The ride  home was just as easy and drama free as the ride there.  

Since then the girls have been sleeping from 8pm-8am with little to no fussing.  Giving all of us some much needed rest.  

My brother has multiple times said we need to move in with him so as to make my parents move down there.  I love his home and being around him but I don't know if that'll slide ;).  

We can't wait to go see him again hopefully soon. 

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

Hmmm, there are a lot of things:

• My hair went from pretty natural blonde to dirt. 
• My nose has a lump.
• I hate that I used to be very happy and out going, more than willing to talk to a stranger but became reserved during Jr High School. Unwilling to just be myself even if it means people will look at me differently.
• I hate that I didn't focus on getting college done quicker.
• I hate that I hold a lot of things back worrying that people will get upset when there are things that NEED to be said. 
• I hate that I have to work so hard to focus on things.  That simple things can get in the way and distract me.  It's embarrassing more than not.

....and the list goes on.. =D

30 Days

Due to limited access to a camera I have some updates that are a little behind.  So today I'm a bit bored and decided I will start the 30 Days of TRUTH that I've seen floating around..The Vree's being one. 
(Of course making usual updates in between)..It's going to be tough, I think, but a great experiment. =)
 *breaks bottle on the boat* here's to 30 days of straight bloggin'!

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself. 
Day 2: Something you love about yourself. 
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for. 
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for. 
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life. 
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do. 
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for. 
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. 
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. 
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. 
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on. 
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on. 
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) 
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter) 
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. 
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without. 
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. 
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage. 
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? 
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol. 
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? 
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. 
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life. 
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) 
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today. 
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? 
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now? 
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? 
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. 
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.