I CAN’T IMAGINE TWO AT ONCE

"I can't imagine having two at one time..." - This is something I actually get told quite often.

Let me first start off by saying, being a mom or dad in general is hard, it's scary, it's amazing, we get to experience things no others can.  I've enjoyed the great things and the terrible things of being a mom and being a mom of twins. I miss things and wish for things just like anyone else. But I really want to try and break down why to me it is shocking to hear a mom of a singleton say "Having two at once would just be so much harder I'm sure..."  because to me, you've got it backwards. 

It was recently brought up and when I responded to her 'twins would be so hard' comment with, "No way! Having one at a time is scary and props to you for doing so!". Now what do I mean by that? I mean, you to me are the stronger woman. Not that us moms of multiples aren't super strong too, but in different ways.

Needless to say she was shocked, she insisted twins is double the work, double the trouble. Now it is. But what I pointed out to her kind of opened her eyes to how amazingly important she is. How much stronger in certain ways she is compared to me.

The respect I have and the struggles I imagine singleton mothers go through is too damn high. You (singleton) mothers don't give yourselves enough credit. You have one human being who knows no one else but you. They rely on you and they look for you for not only survival but fun, attention, love. Even if you have a 1yr old and a 2yr old they often are requiring individual attention in individual ways.

No I'm not saying twins are the same person and not individuals, but there is a difference. There is a difference in how we interact with them compared to how we would interact with a single child. They both want to talk with us, they both want to tell us about each others day. They stick up for one another. They help with each others stories or experiences. They are individuals but also a package deal. It's so hard to explain but trust me, it's a real thing.

If we are busy they are playing with one another without much fuss and fight either. Sometimes I watch them make up stories and play new games and think to myself how lucky they are to be with one another. How amazingly lucky are they to have their best friend built in. Someone they can always go to for comfort and questions when mom and dad aren't around.

So as they grow older, the easier the changes seem to be. They rely on one another a lot. Often that kind of is hard to handle when they don't come to me when they are scared but turn to their sister instead. It's rewarding and hard all at the same time.

Then on the other hand I think of all the times we've missed out on that one on one interaction that you would get with a singleton. I envy the mothers who got to hold their babies right away. Who got to cuddle and feel their warmth and cries. I envy the moms who got to focus solely on one child for a good period of time. You know, really get to learn that child in and out. While we juggled between two constantly.

I'm not complaining, no not at all. I'm just saying that we all have different scenarios and from all sides we all envy or wish for different or certain things some times. So when I hear a mom say they have it easy with their 2 year old compared to my two 6 year olds. I can't help but think, Lady, you have no idea how strong and wonderful you really are!

Stop feeling guilty or being hard on yourself for whatever reason and realize that we are all fighting to be our children's hero's and we are all going to make mistakes and we are all going to go through so really really hard times. Does that mean I have it easy? No. Does that mean that you do? No way.

What it means is, to me, you're the bomb.com. It honestly is a fear of mine that I will not even have close as enough love or attention inside me to handle a child on their own. It's stopped me in my tracks when thinking of possibly having a 3rd.

I know I didn't explain or say things the way they needed to be said but if you take anything away from this take away the fact that:

Even if we both may have the grass is greener syndrome every now and then. You're awesome, I'm awesome, we are all awesome! No matter how different the situations are and we should cherish every stinking (literally), dirty, angry, loving moment of it.

Just make sure you're happy in this life.

HEY!   Oh man has it been a while. Too long. I feel like blogging always helped me sort things out in my head and also just document things that I might want to look back on in life. I’m going to make a large effort to get started again, make a list of things I have been wanting to talk about or even discuss for the future. Maybe not about anything relevant to people who read it but, meh.

I try to think back to last year, 2015. It wasn’t so long ago after all. This time last year the Gremlins were in Kindergarten, I was in my last term of my bachelors degree and we sold our house of 6 years.

We had done so much! We started the year off with a family vacation to Hawaii, filling in the rest of the months with camping, hiking, swimming, playing, mini trips to other states. We ended it with a bang, I graduated and to celebrate the dude and I left on a trip to New Zealand.

It was exciting and scary. We had no place to really call “home”, the girls were in school. You know real school, the part of school that makes you afraid their tiny spirits might break. But of course they were thrown into the lions pits and got to experience something I knew all too well…bullying. (A story for another day)

Needless to say life was different and wasn’t going to level out any time soon.

Here we are, 2016 and it still feels like we are moving at a never ending fast pace but things are also so contrasting compared to 2015. I work all day, I don’t see my family until 6:30pm or 7pm. The girls are at school all day and enjoying every minute of it.

We have been adjusting and in turn haven’t been able to do a lot of the things we had the year before. We are living in an apartment and pushing towards our future goals. There is a light at the end but the light it as least 6-8 months away and that is sometimes daunting.

The amount of support and love that we have been given through out all of this has been nothing less than amazing. We don’t know how we could thank everyone but hope they realize how much we appreciate them and all they’ve done.

So if you see that I haven’t posted at least once a week I want a message telling me to stop being a lazy [insert some name to get me fired up]…Glad we have an understanding.

Happy Friday. 

Moving!

In hopes of kicking my ass into writing/posting more I've decided to migrate the blog over to Wordpress. 

I'll have a little more control over the vision of the blog which in turn will hopefully help me be a little more involved. 

We have a lot TONS to catch up on since the last I posted but rather than fill you in 100% I'll probably just pick up some where near by and slowly randomly add old things...just to jar my memory and things of that nature!

So be on the look out for an update on the migration and the new URL! 

Cookies

Sometimes that is all it takes to step away, cherish and enjoy what you have. We all get carried away with our own worries causing us to take what we have for granted. K has been asking to make Christmas cookies for days. By asking, I mean non stop talking about these amazing cookies she saw in a magazine. Can't really resist these faces as much as I try. 

They are so inquisitive, everything is a question followed by another question.  It's wonderful really, the amount of growth they go through at this age. How at the end of the day you realize the new things they have learned and the new things they have taught you. Watching them write their names, insist on dressing themselves, color the most imaginary pictures I wish I could dream up. 

I never thought I would have kids but my heart is more than full and I am more than blessed to have done so. We are the lucky ones to have them in our lives no matter how terribly hard times can be. 

Just a smile

It's around this time of year, at least for me, you start to realize what is happening, like REALLY happening in your life. I'm going to miss the days of sitting outside watching the twins play and bask in the summer rays. I've also realized how freaking old they are getting and how amazingly scary that is for me. No one warned me how scared I would be for them to grow into a world I'm not sure is good enough for them. Is that terrible I think so highly of them that I don't want them to have to worry about the real life struggle? So be it. We are all products of our own creations though. I see them try to express themselves to strangers, to openly welcome someone they have never seen in their life. I also, in turn, get to see them get rejected, ignored and in a way forgotten. As much as I would love to slap some in the face with a fish, I don't blame them all. I don't run away with my child thinking what a terrible person wouldn't say hello to such a beautiful little girl. I do however pay attention to where it comes from. I see a child just walk away as they ask to play, I then see this child's parents turn away when they are greeted. As though this will void what just happened, if I don't look at you or see you, you didn't make an effort to be in my world. 

What has caused so many of us to try and avoid human contact? What has caused people to judge those they have never met? Is the effort too much. Is it something that is just not viable at that point in your life. I remember walking down the roads as a young kid and how open neighbors were. I knew people blocks away that I simply knew from walking by their house daily. Maybe I was raised in a different world. Or are my parents to blame for my expectations of people? It's not a struggle when the end effort causes a smile. Those little relationships we make in our lives will in a way make who we are. It's those little none obligatory relationships that you will always look back on and think about how wonderful it felt to create and nourish it. 

For example in our old home we made an effort to reach out to our mail lady. We would watch her day in and day out walk in the heat and the cold from house to house. She didn't seem unhappy, she seemed determined. One day shortly after we got Auzzie Bear we were walking him up to a park near our home. She was on her normal route headed our way. She didn't say anything she simply smiled and bent down to give Auzzie a treat. I know you'll think, "Well she probably gives it to all dogs she sees." Although this could be very possible, I had never seen her do so with the many dogs along our street. It became part of a routine, Auzzie began to see her and get so excited just as she would. Like I said, not much was said between us, but there were the Hellos' and small gestures of her leaving treats in our mail box when she didn't catch us. She would put our mail out of the snow and rain as our box wasn't the greatest. She even if we had a larger box she didn't want to leave on the porch would come back after her route to give it to us in hopes of catching us. We would leave cookies or cards for holidays. It wasn't much, and a lot wasn't needed. It was just a smile. A simple smile that made both our days. I'll never forget the day we got a new mailman but I'll also never forget how wonderful it was to know that there was someone out there still willing to give a little. 

These are the little things I want to teach my kids to thrive on, not saying the big things aren't wonderful too. I'm just saying, why can't we just take those 2 seconds to pass on a hello, a wave, a smile. It's not hard, it's not going to cause your life to crumble. I hope despite the head turns and walk aways they continue to realize what they are trying to accomplish is what everyone should be trying to accomplish. Human interaction at it's finest. We all need it, we all deserve it. Its little children that show us these silly little things that I fear we are all slowly forgetting. 

Going through the motions

Wow...

It's been so long since I've posted anything. I remember when I did my best to do a post at least once a week. These days that just seems like wishful thinking! Call it bad time management or call it life, but I feel like the time in the day just gets shorter and shorter the older you get. 

We have been going going and going! 

The twins are growing up so big. Just last month they turned 4 yet they already seem like 5 or 6 year olds. They just completed their first year of pre-school and I never imagined having kids who enjoyed going to class so much. They are like little sponges. They soak up so much information and are continually looking to learn more. It was always a struggle to get them to leave as they wanted to show me all the things they could do in class. 

I'm not ashamed to say, I cried the night before their birthday. It was more of joy than sadness, but honestly a mix of all emotions. The realization you can no longer shelter them the way you did, they are growing and venturing further into a world I'm not sure any of us are sure we want our kids to fully see. On the other hand they have grown into such amazing little girls that I cannot wait to see them explore and try new things. They deserve so much and work so hard for the things they want to learn. It's, as said so many times, a bitter sweet experience.

Now being summer, we spend our mornings outside and enjoying the sun. Currently I'm still plowing through college to the best of my abilities and have begun hopefully my career path. It's taken years for me to decide on what I want to use my degree for. Nothing seemed appealing and in the end I almost regretted even getting a degree in this field (Graphic Design). These days everyone and their dog thinks they can accomplish this field without schooling, I'm not saying they can't, I'm saying it's a saturated market and finding our niche is a lot harder than it used to be. Yes, every company needs a design team. It's just a fact. But what if you don't want to work in a large company? There's freelance, right? Yes.. of course. As said before it's saturated. There are so many online sources to acquire freelance artists for an extremely low fee it's made it almost pointless. Then their is the over abundance of Wall art, Clothing design, and everything in between. Leaving the majority  who want to step away from online income to look towards larger companies. 

Well I decided to step out of the bounds and take on a world I've always been so passionate about. My dad made sure I grew up around cars, motorcycles and outdoor motors. Living around these things I've become to love them deeper than maybe I should. Riding my dirt bike is one of the greatest releases, I think, anyone could have! Add that to my cruiser, sport bike, boat, car admiration and it all kind of hit me in the side of the head. Why not create a company that will allow me to be around what I love on a daily basis? Maybe not DOING what I love..but being involved in it's world. Allowing me to support those who go out and seek adventures on the weekend with their grown up toys. Or those who simply enjoy putting a little extra love into their vehicles. 

Let's be honest I know NOTHING about starting my own business. What I do know, is that being successful takes one thing. Passion. It takes being unrealistic and doing something some people may say is pointless and wont work. It's been a few months of researching, planning, and working hard at getting a plan in place. It's slow going and that's all I can expect without a endless pocket and little background. Either way, I'm determined. Hopefully, soon, we will be able to fully launch this business and hit the ground running. 

So if you follow me on Twitter or FB or Instagram be sure to keep an eye out for it. ;) 

5 Favorite Things Friday

(via longhair)

(via rugged-life)

1. Scrunchy Sweaters and Beanies - I'm starting to really dislike the cold, no matter how much I love snowboarding. The one thing I look forward to is wearing anything comfy. 

2. Backpacking/hiking. It was a tradition in my family while growing up for a yearly backpack. I miss it. Being away from anything human and experiencing the silence of nature. 

3. That's it! I'm addicted to a morning cup-o-joe! Generally just one is plenty for my day but a morning without is like dragging around dead weight all day! 

4. Jennifer Lawrence - Mainly her interviews with people. If you haven't seen any, I strongly suggest you YouTube some NOW! She is funny and straight forward. 

5. 1956 Dodge Power Wagon - We recently bought a new car and it got me looking at old trucks and cars. I miss going to car shows and seeing what people have done to these.

Happy Friday Everyone! Keep safe this weekend! :D

Another Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Friday Fashion Favorites

1.

via femme-belle.tumblr.com

Fall is upon us (sadly) but it always gets me pinterest happy as I span through all the comfy looking outfit ideas for the season!

2.

via shoptherage

3.

via lolobu

I'm really starting to like the boyfriend jean trend more and more. Especially paired with a comfy T and some flats <3 nbsp="" p="">

4.

via fab.com

5.

via webshop.humanoid

Maybe it's the biker chick in me but I love leather jackets of all shapes and sizes! 

Preschool

The picture says it all! They are officially in Preschool and have survived their first day! 

It's so bitter sweet when it comes to them being gone every other day for a few hours. I didn't cry on the day of, but I cried the night before. More so for the worry that I wont be able to protect them from everything, that they will experience things that may hurt them in some sort of way. That's all about growing up right? But what if I don't want them to grow up! NO I TELL YOU! On the other hand it is going to be nice to have a little time in the morning to myself, doing things that need to be done or heck even things that I just want to do. 

Regardless of my woes they were so excited! They couldn't wait to meet the kids and learn the ABC's with their teacher. 

Let us not even forget how much they love having back packs. They loaded them up with toys and wanted to take the toys to class..of course that wasn't going to happen and caused a ruckus. 

It was so different going back to school shopping for my own kids! I was having a mini panic attack as I ran around the stores thinking of what they will need for the upcoming fall season (still no coats chosen as the Mr and I couldn't agree to colors and styles, haha wow). Silly reason for stress but alas it happened. 

They are growing into their own little people and it's a blessing that we get to witness it. Although coming into their 3's I've decided that people who warn you about the "Terrible 2's" need more warn you about the "Terrible 3's". We've had more meltdowns, tantrums, fights and everything in between over the summer of them turning 3 than we ever had while they were 2! 

Besides the emotional roller coaster that is children. It's a blessing in disguise of two little gremlins ;)

Camping and 30 days of habit..

We took the girls camping when they couldn't walk, once, and once when they were just learning. It was probably more frustrating and draining than I had expected. Last year was a Lake Powell trip that while the houseboat moved my nerves were being shredded! So having them be able to walk, listen, and pay attention to certain things was much more exciting! This year we've already gone camping several times and without hesitation they got down and dirty.

The dude's parents took a camper up to Skyline for a few weeks and were kind enough to let us tag along with our motorcycles and kids in tow. The gremlins at first were a little frightened and uncertain of all bugs around the camp ground but eventually learned to ignore it all.

We actually had to go buy jeans for the first time that were slightly too big and allowed for lbs of dirt to leak down their little butt cracks. By the end of every evening they were filthy and generally super tired! I never understood how kids had so much energy! I must have been a little energizer bunny when i was a kid. They spent their days in the dirt, playing with their cousin, riding 4 wheelers, riding their strider bikes up and down a little hill and a little motorcycle ride. 

Surprisingly they didn't enjoy roasted marshmallows at all, they much rather just the regular mallow itself.  But they did love the fire and we had to very often remind them not to run around it. It was so much fun watching the explore and see what things did, testing the waters of nature. I'll be the first to tell you they are professional little squatters. ;)  We are really hoping to get a few more camping trips in this year to a couple new places. 

 As for 30 days of habit...it takes 30 days to start a good habit and only a few days to break one. Today marks that day that I'm throwing myself to the lions and fighting away a huge temptation of mine. Sugar. I've dont it before, around probably the worst time of year, Christmas. This year I'm starting earlier and hoping it sticks. Anyway, here are the few things I'll/we will be changing/starting today:

• No sugar unless natural- as in fruits and other raw foods.
• Keeping a journal - Either blogging for that day or writing in my personal journal. I miss blogging and I want to be able to look back on some details I may not remember one day.
• Telling someone every day something you like or appreciate about them - I have so many people around me that deserve to be told how amazing they are!
• Taking a walk - we may work out occasionally but I think family walks in the evening would be a great way to relieve some stress, talk, and enjoy the world around us as a family.
• Cold showers - I know! It sounds crazy, because trust me, I am the first to turn the heat up to scorching and burn while I shower. But after some research on the matter I want to see the effect it will have. All the benefits of cold showers I feel are things I'm slightly lacking needing in my life. If you'd like to see just a handful of these check it out here. 
• Natural Sleeping pattern - another subject you can find lots of research on. As you know your sleep goes in patterns of deep sleep to..well not deep. Setting a time to sleep and a time to wake ie. 11pm to bed and 7am to wake. Causes you to get too much sleep and is often restless without you even realizing. Research shows that following a sleep only when you're absolutely tired but waking up at a set time causes your body to enter a sleep cycle necessary to keeping your body rested.  

For example, I need to wake up roughly around 7:30am. So the night before I will go to sleep when my mind no longer is able to keep me functioning, eyes wont stay open, good way to test is read a couple pages from a book. For the first night I may end up being up till 1am but I will without a doubt wake at 7:30am. Making sure not to lay there and to, after a couple good stretches, sit up in bed. This may cause me to drag the first couple days as I feel super tired. But in turn that means by the evening I'll be tired enough to go to sleep earlier. Bottom line if you're laying in bed and you cannot fall asleep within 20 minutes, your body is not ready for sleep. Get up, go read, or do something small till you feel tired and certain you can pass out within a short period. Eventually after a few days your body will start a natural sleep patter that will properly assess when and how many hours your need to sleep. Generally keeping your bed time within a 2 hour window and keeping your mind and body at rest the entire night. 

So in ending, I feel like these are all things that can make a positive change in my life. Especially the sleeping since I haven't slept will since the twins were 6 months old. I plan to try and track the differences I feel and see. Possibly do a few blog updates.  As for today, I haven't had a bite of sugar, I took a cold shower that actually felt amazing and woke me up real well after falling asleep a little later than normal but waking at 7:30. So far so good! 

So far this year...

Life is constantly getting more and more crazy as the twins grow older. They are trying new things and testing not only their limits but ours. This last May they turned 3 and show their age by throwing fits but making big steps in things like riding their bikes and swimming without our help. We find them clothe-less more often than not. Which I don't really mind and want them to enjoy being toddlers [still babies to me]. 

O weighs about 32 lbs while K is as usual one pound behind. They both know their letters very well and shapes are easy peasy. 

The strider bikes we got them for their 2nd birthday are getting great use as they now can ride down our little hill without putting their feet down! I took them on their first motorcycle ride on their little Suzuki 80. They were nervous of the noise at first but then asked for more. [girls after their mothers heart]  Of course as usual they are little fish and love to swim. We purchased them those life jackets that go around the arms and then the chest. They love them and just recently took the step to letting go of mom and dad to swim on their own like "doggies" as they say. 

They tend to get bumps and bruises much more often than their mother would like but I cant help but see a little bit of me in them. Especially little K who just seems to be a spittin' image of me...scary in some ways I suppose! Lets me know what I have coming. :) 

Their grandpa moved away to LA for 6 months and it was always a treat when he came home and they got to play with him. Easter was especially fun as they ran around asking where the Easter bunny left them eggs. 

They are the light of our lives and even though there have been struggles and bumps along the way, waking up to them smiling every day is a blessing. We have  had some rough spots that I wont bore you with today, and I know it has effected them with the stress levels. Luckily things are always overcome with a little faith and love. It also helps to have such loving family so near and close to our hearts. 

Once they slightly understood what prayer was we have started having them say it regularly before bed. They love it and even though they may not fully understand I think it's a great thing to have them recognize the thanks with should give. 

Our little family tugs at my heart in all the good ways. Watching us grow, watching them grow, and wondering what the future will bring. We try to live it to its fullest. Get out as much as we can, explore where we can when we can. I want them to grow up with the childhood I had. My younger years are some of the fondest memories of my life. So many amazing things I was able to discover. I have my parents to thank for that. I truly hope that we are able to bring those same opportunities to them throughout their lives. Only thing they have to worry about is that I'm no girly girl..so they may have to look to their grandmas for those "make-up" tips. ;) 

[CHEAP] Organic Facial Scrub

OK ladies! (Hello again.) Since I have been in bed for nearly 3 days straight now Pinterest has been my best friend and for once I found something I sincerely had to share since it's something I've always had a struggle with. 

 This little concoction helps even skin tone, rid of blemishes, reduce sun spotting, clear face of self tanner, rid face of oily dead cells, leaving your face with a natural shine and glow!  It's like an expensive facial peel without the expense! 

How is it cheap!? Well all you need are these items:

Organic Sugar or Brown Sugar-

Lemons (or lemon juice in a bottle)-

Cotton Balls or Cotton Rounds-

I found all this easily already on hand at home and got right to work.

1. Wet face with warm water to open up pores.

2. Wet cotton round with lemon juice.

3. Sprinkle brown sugar on top of wet cotton round

(If you have excess sugar on your fingers just wipe off on face. :)

4. Thoroughly start rubbing on face like at a car wash. Being sure to pay close attention to the problem areas, such as around the nose, above the eye brows, upper lip, and hairline.

5. Once you've done a good job of scrubbing away the nasty! Rinse! 

You can do this once a week, every day, twice a week, whatever you feel your skin can handle. I personally have very sensitive skin, scar easy, and redden easily but have found that even after one try my skin felt super soft, refreshed and little to NO irritation! I even noticed the tone of my face to be smoother and less blotchy. 

Coming from someone who has struggled with facial, well, everything! I'm so happy I found this easy to do organic method that has made my miserable week into something a little more bright! 

Give it a shot and leave me a comment on how yours felt/turned out! :)

{Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!}

Signs&Distractions

Summer is coming to an end. There are signs all over! The sun is setting early and the air is feeling cooler, fresher even.

I'm excited for fall but at the same time will miss the early afternoon swims with the gremlins.  I never thought they would take so well to getting down and dirty in the water and mud. But they are girls after my own heart. 

With the cooler months on their way it's become a stressful thought as to how to keep the twins occupied when we aren't able to go outside as much.(Don't even get me started on the warmer clothes shopping!)  

Currently we are up by 8am.  Breakfast (after a rush to the restroom) is finished within 20 minutes. We spend a good 20-30 minutes reading books...the same books..over and over again. :)  Then they like to cuddle and watch a couple blue's clues or Go Diego Go before mid morning snack break. They then promptly insist on going out side to play on their slides and with their water tubs or even swim.   Before we know it it's lunch time.

Lately though K has insisted on going inside early. Even though the weather is wonderful. We aren't sure why she does this?

This in turn means more time inside and more time they end up becoming bored.  They even prefer to ride their bikes inside rather than out. 

I've been searching Pinterest (yes I  too am drawn to the addiction that is Pinterest) frantically for ideas of toddler games and activities.

That's when I came across this blog: Simple Little Home with 40 Ways to distract a toddler. 

Many of these we already do but the majority of these I never even thought of!  

For example ZipLock bag painting! What a great idea that keeps the mess off the kids (most importantly your house).  It has  sensory feeling and is a way to bring out their creative side.

I really need to pick up on the mommy awesome and schedule a good hour of crafting/painting/creating etc.  before their nap time. 

Do YOU have any great ideas to keep a toddler from throwing herself to the lions in a fit of rage? ;)

Moving forward

Why am I so lucky? 

Drama happens everywhere with everyone. Everyone has problems and obstacles they have to overcome. No one life is the same. Which in turn makes it hard for others to understand the difficulty of your own. 

This little family has had their ups and downs but I'm trying really hard to put things into perspective. To realize that as long as we have each other we can overcome these obstacles and also realize that everyone is different and we just need to be there for one another. 

In the end I'm lucky for all that I have and am able to accomplish. 

Sorry for the quality of the photos. I haven't moved them from my Lappy to my Desktop yet so I'm using re-saved grainy images. :)

This summer has come and gone we have been so very busy. Our vacations have been amazing and the twins wont stop growing. 

I don't normally openly talk about our religious beliefs. Mostly due to the "book by it's cover" policy. If some people were to know that I grew up LDS many would instantly assume I was a specific way. Without getting to know the history behind everything leading to this point.

I have not been active in the church since I was 19. At which point I was a nursery teacher along side my mother. I enjoyed it. I love kids. I have always had second thoughts and doubts in my mind about the Church though. Mostly based on past experiences that I wont really go into at this point..maybe another day.

Anyway, once my parents moved back to Washington I stopped going. I moved to another city and just never got involved in my ward. Through my doubts though I never once doubted my belief in the LDS church at the roots.  Again, more I could go into but wont.

The dude is a convert and, as well, hasn't been active for years. So when we met, it wasn't an issue or even really discussed. Until we had kids.

Once the twins were born we both felt like all children should have some backbone or stepping stone, I should say, of religion. At this point it was a matter of getting the push to finally go.

With things being hard and us struggling with things as a family, I started to really miss the church. The feeling that I got learning the things I did and how much I really did enjoy it. The support and friendship that I found with others through the church. Even if I chose not to see it at the time. To me it's been hard to just show up one day and say "Hey, I really didn't like coming to church for the 2 years we've lived here, so never did..but I'm here now!" 

But like I said, with things how they've been we felt like now was the right time. I feel like that was a good sign though, that we didn't force it, we didn't push ourselves into something we really weren't ready for.  

Waiting for the time that we felt was right, to me, was perfect.

So far, we've been a few times. The gremlins love their nursery and don't even seem to notice us leaving them behind. 

The first couple attempts us worried parents accompanied by my parents support, sat in the hall every now and then checking on the twins. Assuming at some point they would realize we were gone and scream. Or so we hoped as an excuse not to attend class.

With a little nudge from my dad though we did finally go to Sunday school this last weekend.

I will honestly say I didn't hate it. The things we spoke of and hearing the opinions of others was very refreshing and interesting. Even the dude enjoyed it, although he did admit during a semi important part he was lost in deep thought about Batman.  I couldn't argue...I too get lost in the awesome that is Batman. 

Most of this is a ramble, vent even. Very probably confusing and lost in translation! But bottom line, I think we are moving forward in directions that we should be. We are growing and repairing as a family, with support from so many around us as well.  

It's those little events and "mooshy gooshy" feelings that make me realize how great things are. As well as how much I should hold on to the tiny moments in life. Even if it takes large steps and struggles to get those moments. 

Like this for example:

Taking O and K to the ocean for the first time. :)

They grow up...

Most will agree..it's way too fast.  

I was going through pictures the other day of when they were new born's to 6 months. 

They were so cute, little, and pudgy! You just wanted to squeeze the guts out of the chub rolls, they were so adorable. (Yes, I'm biased)  

Now..  They are two 2 year old's ready to take on the world. Can you believe that? 8 week early preemies who now look and act like perfect, healthy, little angels. Not to mention I am proud to say that they are a good 90% potty trained at the age of 2! (the other 10% percent being the obstacle of the frightening public restrooms they refuse to enter) As long as we are only out and about an hour and a half or at some one else's home. We're golden!!  Boy is it nice to have no diapers in the house! 

People ask daily if it's hard to tell them apart. To be honest most the time yes.  That's because I know their personalities, how they hold themselves up, etc. But, I wont lie..there are plenty of times that I mistake one for the other, and to be honest as they have grown up, thinned out, and so on, it gets slightly harder to say right away: "oh yea, that's O." 

It's perfectly obvious how much they absolutely adore one another. I never thought I would get to experience such a close sisterly bond. Obviously they know no better, but it's still so beautiful to watch them learn with one another. To also teach each other new things, if one figures it out before the other. All children are miracles in my eyes but watching multiples grow up so close is a whole new experience that I wish everyone could enjoy.  

They take turns with each other, they give one another hugs if the other is hurt in any way. 

O will especially make sure "sissy" has a bear or stuffy before herself. She's such the mothering type it's amazes me.  How soft her heart is and how greatly she likes to take care of others just makes you melt.  She is also our dramatic of the two. Small things are made into large climactic events. The terrible two's should be spelled with her name in it! Fits are her cup of tea as her sister sits back with a look of "woman...chillllll!"  

K on the other hand is quiet, daring, loving, but most of all my ball of energy. Ironically enough mostly when she is tired. It's as though a switch is flipped and she will start asking you questions you could have never thought anyone would be interested in.  Her smiles lights up your life whenever she is proud or excited about something new. My parents always told me I had it coming. I would get a daughter who was just like me. Well, parents are always right people. Because sure enough Little Miss K is exactly like her mother. Leap before you think kind of a girl. After my own heart. <3

(had to get a shot of Aussie's skills!)

As you can imagine they love to play with "oussie" and "kona". Most the time walking around telling them what to do. But, also while outside throwing the ball, or chasing them around. Aussie is a perfect older brother. Letting them roll around on him or hold on to his back fur as he drags them around the house.  He more than loves the attention.

To say it lightly it's been an emotional couple of years. From a girl who never wanted to get married, not to mention have kids! To getting blessed with two amazing little girls. My heart is so full of love when I'm around them. 

I'll be starting school again tomorrow and being away from them during their bedtime stories is going to be another one of those silly hardest things of my life. It's a great thing to hear "Mommy, BOOOK!" as I get them ready to snuggle in bed. Or, "hug mommy, lub jew" just as they lay down to sleep. 

This last year especially has just been a busy whirl wind of crazy. I missed their birthday post..our vacation post..a post of potty training progress.  And in reality so much more. I suppose that should be my highest goal:

Time Management!

Wish me luck ;)