Hardest day of my life?

I'm starting to think that things I've been through in my life have been fairly simple up to this point.  I could be acting a little over the top about all this as I'm sure the hormones are not exactly helping the situation.

All I know is that leaving the hospital last night, for the first time in 7 days, was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.  It's pretty strange when you start hoping they find things wrong with you to keep you there.

Before we left Austin and I went and spent and hour or more with our girls.  We had several conversations with the nurse watching them as well as the doctor.  They helped calm me, knowing our little ones were in such good hands.  The girls seemed to have become quite the favorites around there.

Oakley was sound asleep.  Every so often you could see her stretching her little legs out.  They had given her a bit of morphine earlier on so they could put in a PICC line and they didn't want her stressing out.  When we talked to her she would attempt to open an eye, so we left her be so she could rest up for the night.  Tomorrow was going to be a busy day.

Kenzington on the other hand was wide awake!  I'd never seen her so lively and aware of things around her.  Her eyes would try and focus on our faces and then get caught up in the oscillators tubes making her go all googly eyed.  We took pictures which I'll have to try and get off the camera as soon as possible.

In fact she was doing so well while we were there they decided to try and take her off the oscillator and put her back on a CPAP to see how well she would do.  This meant no tubes in her little mouth.  We watched as they removed everything and put the CPAP mask on her.  She got upset and for the 2nd time I was able to hear her cry.  After a minute she calmed down.  Then again as we were getting leave for the night she started up crying again, it made things that much harder for us.  

The nurse gave her a pacifier and she seemed to relax and try to sleep it off.  

Today they planned on giving them their screenings to see if the PDA has closed off after their treatment.  As well they were thinking of trying to take Oakley off the oscillator and putting her back on the CPAP. Crossing our fingers that these all turn out good.

One very amazing thing yesterday was that they were able to meet their Uncle Neal!  He was the best big brother ever and flew out for the day to meet them and spend time with us.  I loved it so much as I'm sure the girls loves seeing him too.  <3

Before bed we said a prayer and I tried hard to hold back the tears that had been coming non stop for some time.  It was hard, but it was nice to be laying in my own bed again so I could start my way to recovery for when our little ones come home.

As for today for us, it's our 2 yr anniversary.  Austin and I had almost forgot through all the ruckus!  We decided our gifts to each other were the girls and we couldn't ask for anything more.