I CAN’T IMAGINE TWO AT ONCE

"I can't imagine having two at one time..." - This is something I actually get told quite often.

Let me first start off by saying, being a mom or dad in general is hard, it's scary, it's amazing, we get to experience things no others can.  I've enjoyed the great things and the terrible things of being a mom and being a mom of twins. I miss things and wish for things just like anyone else. But I really want to try and break down why to me it is shocking to hear a mom of a singleton say "Having two at once would just be so much harder I'm sure..."  because to me, you've got it backwards. 

It was recently brought up and when I responded to her 'twins would be so hard' comment with, "No way! Having one at a time is scary and props to you for doing so!". Now what do I mean by that? I mean, you to me are the stronger woman. Not that us moms of multiples aren't super strong too, but in different ways.

Needless to say she was shocked, she insisted twins is double the work, double the trouble. Now it is. But what I pointed out to her kind of opened her eyes to how amazingly important she is. How much stronger in certain ways she is compared to me.

The respect I have and the struggles I imagine singleton mothers go through is too damn high. You (singleton) mothers don't give yourselves enough credit. You have one human being who knows no one else but you. They rely on you and they look for you for not only survival but fun, attention, love. Even if you have a 1yr old and a 2yr old they often are requiring individual attention in individual ways.

No I'm not saying twins are the same person and not individuals, but there is a difference. There is a difference in how we interact with them compared to how we would interact with a single child. They both want to talk with us, they both want to tell us about each others day. They stick up for one another. They help with each others stories or experiences. They are individuals but also a package deal. It's so hard to explain but trust me, it's a real thing.

If we are busy they are playing with one another without much fuss and fight either. Sometimes I watch them make up stories and play new games and think to myself how lucky they are to be with one another. How amazingly lucky are they to have their best friend built in. Someone they can always go to for comfort and questions when mom and dad aren't around.

So as they grow older, the easier the changes seem to be. They rely on one another a lot. Often that kind of is hard to handle when they don't come to me when they are scared but turn to their sister instead. It's rewarding and hard all at the same time.

Then on the other hand I think of all the times we've missed out on that one on one interaction that you would get with a singleton. I envy the mothers who got to hold their babies right away. Who got to cuddle and feel their warmth and cries. I envy the moms who got to focus solely on one child for a good period of time. You know, really get to learn that child in and out. While we juggled between two constantly.

I'm not complaining, no not at all. I'm just saying that we all have different scenarios and from all sides we all envy or wish for different or certain things some times. So when I hear a mom say they have it easy with their 2 year old compared to my two 6 year olds. I can't help but think, Lady, you have no idea how strong and wonderful you really are!

Stop feeling guilty or being hard on yourself for whatever reason and realize that we are all fighting to be our children's hero's and we are all going to make mistakes and we are all going to go through so really really hard times. Does that mean I have it easy? No. Does that mean that you do? No way.

What it means is, to me, you're the bomb.com. It honestly is a fear of mine that I will not even have close as enough love or attention inside me to handle a child on their own. It's stopped me in my tracks when thinking of possibly having a 3rd.

I know I didn't explain or say things the way they needed to be said but if you take anything away from this take away the fact that:

Even if we both may have the grass is greener syndrome every now and then. You're awesome, I'm awesome, we are all awesome! No matter how different the situations are and we should cherish every stinking (literally), dirty, angry, loving moment of it.

Just make sure you're happy in this life.

HEY!   Oh man has it been a while. Too long. I feel like blogging always helped me sort things out in my head and also just document things that I might want to look back on in life. I’m going to make a large effort to get started again, make a list of things I have been wanting to talk about or even discuss for the future. Maybe not about anything relevant to people who read it but, meh.

I try to think back to last year, 2015. It wasn’t so long ago after all. This time last year the Gremlins were in Kindergarten, I was in my last term of my bachelors degree and we sold our house of 6 years.

We had done so much! We started the year off with a family vacation to Hawaii, filling in the rest of the months with camping, hiking, swimming, playing, mini trips to other states. We ended it with a bang, I graduated and to celebrate the dude and I left on a trip to New Zealand.

It was exciting and scary. We had no place to really call “home”, the girls were in school. You know real school, the part of school that makes you afraid their tiny spirits might break. But of course they were thrown into the lions pits and got to experience something I knew all too well…bullying. (A story for another day)

Needless to say life was different and wasn’t going to level out any time soon.

Here we are, 2016 and it still feels like we are moving at a never ending fast pace but things are also so contrasting compared to 2015. I work all day, I don’t see my family until 6:30pm or 7pm. The girls are at school all day and enjoying every minute of it.

We have been adjusting and in turn haven’t been able to do a lot of the things we had the year before. We are living in an apartment and pushing towards our future goals. There is a light at the end but the light it as least 6-8 months away and that is sometimes daunting.

The amount of support and love that we have been given through out all of this has been nothing less than amazing. We don’t know how we could thank everyone but hope they realize how much we appreciate them and all they’ve done.

So if you see that I haven’t posted at least once a week I want a message telling me to stop being a lazy [insert some name to get me fired up]…Glad we have an understanding.

Happy Friday. 

Moving!

In hopes of kicking my ass into writing/posting more I've decided to migrate the blog over to Wordpress. 

I'll have a little more control over the vision of the blog which in turn will hopefully help me be a little more involved. 

We have a lot TONS to catch up on since the last I posted but rather than fill you in 100% I'll probably just pick up some where near by and slowly randomly add old things...just to jar my memory and things of that nature!

So be on the look out for an update on the migration and the new URL! 

Cookies

Sometimes that is all it takes to step away, cherish and enjoy what you have. We all get carried away with our own worries causing us to take what we have for granted. K has been asking to make Christmas cookies for days. By asking, I mean non stop talking about these amazing cookies she saw in a magazine. Can't really resist these faces as much as I try. 

They are so inquisitive, everything is a question followed by another question.  It's wonderful really, the amount of growth they go through at this age. How at the end of the day you realize the new things they have learned and the new things they have taught you. Watching them write their names, insist on dressing themselves, color the most imaginary pictures I wish I could dream up. 

I never thought I would have kids but my heart is more than full and I am more than blessed to have done so. We are the lucky ones to have them in our lives no matter how terribly hard times can be.